Need a friend and some support!
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Need a friend and some support!
| Sat, 09-09-2006 - 5:51pm |
Hi, new here, well not true was member of the expecting in Apr 2000 group back then. Here's my story. DH and I are 60-90 days from final decree. He is military and we were buying house in Fl and moving the last week of June. The first week of June he confesses that he met a bar maid in mid-May and had sex and is madly in love and that I would not be moving to Fl. He took all three of our kids, because he convinced the teenage girls that I did not love them. I also work for government and travel extensively but call every night and wanted to be home. Our life was never perfect, we ran away from home as teenagers and got married the day I turned 18. We struggled alot but we managed to hold it together until three years ago. He entered school to earn a PhD and emotionally shut himself off from me, after some time I turned to a friend for the affections I was missing. DH never knew this, but I am certain it slowed. I can not blame DH for seeking companionship elsewhere, but he up and left after only knowing this girl for two weeks. I should add that she is still married. We will be married for 18 years in a couple of months. My pain comes from the fact that he just up and left and gave me barely two weeks notice. I attempted to get him to go to counseling, but he never would ever consider it. His answer was always that he was business with work and that we were great any problems I thought we had were all in my head. I have terrible panic attacks and was suicidal for the first week, but am now somewhat stable. I miss him terribly and wish we could at least discuss what the real problems were, even if the result is a divorce. The hardest part is not having my kids with me, they moved 1000 miles away and I see them once a month if I am lucky. - I guess I am just looking to put it out there and get it off my chest.

sc_girl-
i don't know if you have found any other threads out there that you have been able to get replies from, but i read your post and wanted you to know that someone heard you. i'm so sorry about your split.. especially the part about the kids. i wish i could say that i was the one who was walked out on in my M, but it was the other way around. the D is final and i am about 2 hrs. away from my X, but i do have the kids.
i feel a great amount of guilt and remorse- especially when i see how it affects my youngest. i have to remember why i left in the first place and why i decided that being so far away was necessary for me. but i would never take my kids out of state. they need their dad and he needs them. X still holds out hope that we will move closer- and at this point, anything is possible.
though the distance may be the greatest issue for you, i would like to suggest the site divorcebusting.com if you have not been there. a friend of mine introduced me to it (surely too late for me), but maybe there is something there that could help you- especially if you want to save your marriage. i won't say it's too late for me, but when i recall the relationship i had/have w/X, going back would ONLY be for the kids and i don't know if that would be for the better...
i hope that you can find some answers. i guess i need to redeem myself some way- and maybe this will help a little bit. seems like my issues keep compounding. i guess i got what i asked for. you did not ask for this. best wishes !
shg