Need Help FAST!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
Need Help FAST!!!!!!!!!
12
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 10:33am
Hello,
I've posted here a few times, but I would like some insight on my marriage. I'm 25 and my dh is 30 we've been married 5yrs. Before we married we lived together 2yrs and we talked about everything to where we would live to building a house to children. We always said we wanted one child and we wanted to wait until we could pay our cars and a few other bills off first. It's been 7yrs and still nothing. I'm ready, we have went as far as picking out names, to buying a 4-dr car. Everytime I bring it up he wants to wait. His family tells me he never wanted kids and everytime he gets a little well drunk he says he don't want kids and we fight about it. I told him he should have been honest with me from day one. Then when he is sober he says we don't need that right now. My husband is immature well lets say he likes his no responsibility lifestyle. What would you do? Would you leave him? Would you not have a baby, even though you really really want one, b/c he doesn't? He always told me he wanted a baby girl, Savannah Dawn, she would have the same intials as me, and if a boy Donald Chase, after his dad, and that would be the same initals as him. What would you all do?? Please help me I'm so confused!! His family has always told him his nerves cant' handle kids, b/c 2-3 kids running around gets on his nerves, Well mine to but I can handle one and that's what i've always wanted he knew this before we got married.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 2:10pm

NO WAY! Don't change WHO YOU ARE, just for him. You will spend the rest of your life resenting it.


If he loves you, he will talk to you and come up with a compromise. The other poster's were right in that if you get pregnant by this man and he keeps his thoughts of not wanting a child, it's the child who will suffer. That is just not an option. Do not think you can change him... talk to him, tell him you are considering leaving because of the difference in thoughts on the child idea. He knew when he married you..... did he think he could change you?


Something isn't working.... just TALK to him. Be 100% honest and even harsh if you have to. Look out for YOU. YOU will be MUCH happier for it.


Hugs to you,


Angelena

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 2:43pm

Thanks, I've made up my mind. When I talk to him if he tries to shut me out or says he doesn't want kids I"M LEAVING. Your all right why should I put what I WANT off for him. I've made him the best wife for 7yrs and it's my turn. I'll find me a great man who loves me and start a family. I've looked into apartments and i'm collecting boxes to pack. I'll not get to talk to him until this weekend and not get to move until July but at least i'll know. I'm taking everything from the forks to the towels. Only leaving Washer dryer couch and tv that's all his. Thanks for your support, I'll keep posting this message board is the best one i've been on. ALOT of SUPPORT here for sure!!

Lots of Love
Stac

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