need help...new here

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
need help...new here
3
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 12:05pm
I met the love of my life 15 years ago... For 10 years we avoided our relationship because of other commitments, kids, moves, etc. 5 years ago we got together and after a few rough years because of blended family and sick kids issues we settled into what I thought was a good relationship. 3 weeks ago I found out my dtr had to have surgery, the next day the dogs got out and he did not come home, the next day he came home stating he was broken and needed to figure out what to do. He needed a "break". A week later he returned and said it was over.. Now I have learned there is someone else and they are moving in together with my step son and dogs..... He has been hitting me out of the blue with tell me one thing and do another stuff...lies about stuff then I hear from others more stuff...He took my stepson and dogs while I was gone to tend to my sick kid...I am pacing my house...I am lost and I just do not know what to do next... does anyone have any suggestions?
I am going out with friends and I do have support but I am worried about burning them out..
I am having visitation today with my stepson and the ex is coming to pick him up and the dogs up (here for visit to say goodbye to my dtr). How do I deal with this and then tonight what do I do when we are all alone again.. This is so hard.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 8:31pm
Hi. Sorry you are going through this. There are some things you may need to do to protect yourself (this is the nonemotional aspect of him leaving) if you eventually end up separated or divorced. There are many websites, but I grabbed one from my bookmarks. http://www.nvo.com/beaulier/planningfordivorce1/ Some things to focus on while your head is spinning (as I assume your heart is too). Let us know how things are going, and how you are doing.
<a href="http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psmomsschool" target="_blank"><img src=<a href="
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 02-09-2007 - 11:28am

Hi there~


How has your week been?


It's just plain ole cruddy when we find ourselves living something we didn't want or expect.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
Fri, 02-09-2007 - 4:30pm
Still feel like I am on a rollercoaster. Well Let's see... Since I last posted.. I had my visit with my step son and it went well... I saw my ex who promised we were going to talk this week and did not call...I got mad finally on Tues and decided I have had enough. I reached my ex and did get some answers although probably lies to issues unresolved by Thursday... I am ready to move on but he is everywhere in my house and my head...
We are seeing each other Tues so he can get the dogs that he did not pick up Sunday. At least that is what he said... I am giving him this last chance to do the right thing before I show up with the dogs to his work and leave them. I know that sounds irrational but he wanted this and he needs to take what is his. I am only afraid that my stepson will hate me for doing that. I feel like I have to stand up for me or I will lose respect for me if I continue to "be the nice guy" at my expense. It is ugly but it is progress none the less.
Julie