Need honest opinions
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 04-10-2006 - 9:33am |
Later this week STBX and I will be taking our DS for his 2-year old appointment. Our pediatrican has known us for years. Our daughters went to preschool and kindergarten together. She always asks if there have been any changes in our family. Last summer I told her that our children now had two homes - STBX wouldn't have said anything. Needless to say she was quite shocked by the news. I thought it was important for all of the adults who are helping us raise our children to know what they are going through. Everytime our daughter sees the doctor, her doctor usually asks DD some indirect question to try to gauge how DD is doing emotionally.
This time our children have another big change going on in their lives (they have a little brother - previous post - "OW just had a baby"). OW and the baby are not living with STBX yet, but my children are spending time with them every week. I don't think that I should be the one to say something to our children's doctor, but I am certain that STBX won't say anything. Especially since the last time we saw the doctor he lied and said that our children didn't have any other adults in their lives yet.
My dilemma: Is it my responsibility to keep our pediatrician informed or should I hold off on saying anything unless I think the situation is clearly affecting our children's health?

Pages
I agree, too. It's always a good idea to keep your children's pediatrician updated on any major life changed....like a new sibling. And that's too darn bad if
It could be that the kids will make the announcement to the pediatrician on their own, especially if she asks them prompting questions.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I don't know if they are using the same pediatrician for STBX's other son. I doubt it - but it's possible. DS won't say anything this week because his sentances only consist of two words right now, but DD might if she comes with us.
The day of our appointment is STBX's day with the kids and DD will be on Easter Break. I don't know if STBX is planning to bring DD or if he plans to leave DD with MIL.
I do think that STBX is leaving DS with MIL more since the new arrival, but I haven't noticed any negative changes in DS's behavior.
I do think that DD has been a little stressed though. She's been acting little like she has PMS and she's only 7. Rather than bringing the situation up with the Pediatrician regarding DS, I'm thinking that if/when pediatrician asks how DD is doing I could say that I'm starting to worry about DD and mention that I've been considering having her talk to someone. If pediatrician is very busy on Thursday, she might suggest we schedule an appointment with her again soon regarding DD. It would be nice to have that conversation with STBX with our pediatrician there. Our pediatrician knows our daughter very well, is very level-headed, and is a mother of three outstanding children. I would value her opinion as to whether or not DD has reached the point where she could benefit from a therapist. I've been very hesitant because I don't want to create a problem if there isn't one.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me
Thank you for all of your responses.
I got through to the doctor by the phone this morning. I'm so glad I did. I'll sleep much better tonight! She did know about the baby because she is the baby's pediatrician too. She said she sort of embarassed herself when she walked into the room and he was there with OW and the baby. However, she said that by the way STBX was acting she had assumed that I knew about the baby from the beginning of the pregnancy and she assumed that STBX and I had been talking about the situation and how it affects our children. She agrees that it would be better if there wasn't a "big elephant in the room that no one is talking about."
I know she will be very professional tomorrow, but she hit the roof for a second when she realized that OW was one of STBX's high school students and asked if she could kick him in the ass for me. We both agreed that we can't change what is done and we just need to focus on making the best of the situation for all three children.
Way to go! Sounds like you did just the right thing, and Ped. "knows" what is REALLY the deal!
Kudos for you!
Pages