Need Mediaiton Advice!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2004
Need Mediaiton Advice!!
1
Sun, 04-27-2008 - 4:18pm

I am freaked out by this whole setting up the budget thing. My stbx is already picking apart every little thing I have said .... now we are at the stage where I need to lay out my budget for myself and the children. I am afraid to say the truth, I am not sure where to start. I am nervous about putting out too much or too little.


If anyone has any ideas or information of where I can go to get ideas that would be great.


Thanks so much for any advice!!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2008
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 12:53pm

I know what you mean. We are just working through that part of our mediation as well.


I went through and listed every bill/expense that I anticipate after the divorce is final - from the mortgage payment to car insurance to food expenses to children's school lunches. I listed down everything I could think of (including some for entertainment, hobbies, meals out).


Our mediator gave us a worksheet to use as a starting point and I went back through all of the old records (easy because I have always been the one to pay the bills) and gave my best guess estimates.


Here is a link to a site I found that lists budget categories, if that helps:


http://www.kiplinger.com/tools/budget/


Money stuff sucks. I really hate to deal with all of it. I have to say though that I am feeling much better about things at this point - after having put together a work-able budget. Makes sure your STBX does the same. I needed to see, for instance, that he could really afford to pay the spousal support and child support he offered and still have money to live on himself. I am confident that he will be able to afford a life of his own (which is important since I don't want him to be resentful and have that impact our parenting relationship, and I want to be sure he is likely to actually pay it!).


Good luck - hope this helps a bit!
~hurtnlost