Need Seperation help/pressure from H

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2007
Need Seperation help/pressure from H
2
Sun, 09-23-2007 - 1:08pm

Almost 2 weeks ago i asked my husband for a seperation while i figured out whether I wnated to stay or ot. We have been married 10 years, have had our share of problems but he did not see this coming at all. I know it was a real shock to him and he still says he does not know what the problem is. I have had these feelings of being unsure since we got married and told him I need to figure out if this is just part of being married or something more and that I don't want to be having the same converastion 10 years from now. He is a good person but i don't feel that I love him like I should.


Anyway, after i told him he said he was giving me 2 weeks to decide because he didn't want this to drag out. he has moved out and said he was going to move back in after the two weeks so we could discuss the future of our relationship. I have contacted a counselor but do not have an appt. till next week. I don't want him to move back in because I think it will make the issue more confusing not just for me but for our son who is 7. he sees our son every day when he picks him up from school.


What should I do? I have asked for more time but he doesn't want to give it to me. I agree that I am the bad guy in this situation since I asked him to leave and it is the bigger inconvenience to him. We have avery small house so we will not be seperated by much. I have wanted to have this conversation about seperating many times but had no resources so there was not point. I do not think I want to get back together with him at this point.


Any advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2007
Sun, 09-23-2007 - 3:35pm

I'm in pretty much the same boat. He was staying at his moms but now says he is moving back home, wants to work on things and while we may sleep in separate rooms, regardless of what I decide he is coming home.


So today I found my own place and am moving out.


I cannot live with him. He will constantly pressure me to work it out and at this point I cannot do that.


I think sometimes, as much as it hurts the other half, you need the time on your own, apart, to sort out your head and see if your feelings really have completely totally changed, or if they are just buried under other stuff.


But if you don't want to or can't decide right now, then you need to figure out a way to get the time you need, be it moving out or having him so do. I know everyone is different, but for myself, I cannot figure out if I'm happier without him if he is there all the time.


A

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 10:07am

Suprchq,


I agree two weeks isn't a lot of time to make such an important decision. However, I can also understand where your husband is coming from: men tend to compartmentalize everything and that what to make decisions now!


When you go see your counselor ask him/her about something called

CL-Wisdomtooth2020