Need some Advice (Long Story)
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| Sun, 11-12-2006 - 2:33pm |
My husband and I have been together for 10 years he was 17 I was 19 we have been married a little over 5 yrs. We had a problem almost right off the bat with his family. They didn't want him with me. And honestly I can say I gave them no reason I'm a decent girl that most moms would've be happy to have there sons bring home I think. We'll his mom kicked him out at 17, and he was just always to protective of her (could've come from the fact that his mom & dad split up when he was 9 and he became the man of the house to her, and his two siblings, his dad was barley there especially for him. Anyway well we fought for years because his mom would say terrible things about me and he would do nothing, he was just awful, she accused me of cheating, when I'm not that type, she would comment if I gained a little weight, when my dad passed away unexpectedly she made the comment that now I had him exactly where I wanted him, he would feel to sorry for me for the rest of my life to leave me. None of this affected him. Finally the day we got married in 2001 and he was able to watch her and her mother treat me horrible, he hasn't talked to her since.
Well in the mean time she wasn't the only issue earlier I mentioned his dad. They have never had a relationship, his dad was always close to his younger brother, and the two other kids he went and had almost immediatly after leaving my dh mom. Well anyway the night my dh graduated high school, my mom had cooked a supper for dh, and his dad showed up with the kids and said he wanted to take just my husband out to eat, well my husband was like well, her mom cooked for me. Well he said it's her or us. Meaning me or him. Well my husband stayed with me. So they didn't talk for years.
Well a few years later we found out he was bad mouthing again about us getting married and that we were rushing into things and that my husband was making the biggest mistake of his life. We had dated for five years before we got married - he didn't invite his dad to the wedding (his choice).
Well a few years later he started talking to him again, and stuff was going o.k. and then his dad met a woman, and stopped calling or coming around, which was what he always did when they were younger. So again they didn't talk for a few more years. Fast forward their talking again for a little over a year now and the sun sets and rises in his father you know where. His dad can say, do, act how ever and my husband is oblivious the same way he was with the mom.
My husband is really great otherwise but this family thing is just awful like he says I mean everything to him, but about a month ago I started having pain in my breast and on one Saturday I passed out in the kitchen, well that same night we were supposed to go to supper at his dads, he still went and expected me to go so I did but I said if I started to feel sick we can leave right, well as soon as we got there he acted like I wasn't even there, and we ending up being there for like 3-4 hrs. And I went to the doctor and I had to have an ultrasound on my breast they found a lump, so I've been worried about breast cancer, and he's telling me oh he's scared and can't imagine his life without me so I went to have a needle biopsy he went along, and I was supposed to get my results last Thursday, well last weekend he comes home and starts fighting with me that since this weekend he was going to be going hunting with his dad he thought I should call and try to find out the results sooner because he wanted to give his dad the common courtosy of letting him know in advance if he couldn't go. I'm like thanks about worrying about me.
So they did call me last Monday and said it was nothing, so he left for hunting on Thursday, and he has just been an a-- when he calls, he's short, doesn't even sound like my dh, he's like were are you, are you drinking which I hardly ever do. And then today he called when I wasn't home so he didn't get a hold of me, well normally he would've been in a panic calling like a maniac worried he left me a message and never tried again. He's almost like someone I don't even know.
I don't know if I can live like this because he doesn't see anything wrong and when I say something he says I just don't want him to have anyone in his life but me, and that I'm nuts and paranoid. And to make matters worse is I have been disabled since 2002 so no job, no money, and worst of all is I really love him, and I just wish he could see or feel how bad this hurts when he makes me feels discarded when he's with his family, because when none of them are in his life I'm everything to him, and when they are it's like your important to me when I want you to be. I'm just lost. Sorry so long, but my family is also no real help.
Thanks.
Akarott
