Need some support and advice!!
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Need some support and advice!!
| Mon, 08-28-2006 - 3:41pm |
Hi!
First day as a member...first time posting. I am a 22yr old female, and I have a 16 month old daughter. Got married at 18 to my first boyfriend (how many women have made this same mistake, honestly?)...and about 4 months ago decided, finally, that my daughter and I really do deserve better, and moved out of the house. My soon to be ex and I own a house together...but as it is currently under construction, decided that it would be wisest for him to continue living there (this was before we lost the ability to communicate intelligently.) Everything was going just fine, we both agreed that we wanted to settle this out of court and as amiacably as possible. Within the past few weeks, things have begun to deteriorate rapidly. He has a history of mental illness, and it seems to have been surfacing recently. One day he's saying that he misses me and wants me to come home, and the next he's screaming at me in front of the neighbors and calling me horrible names. I, of course, have documented all these instances, just in case!!! He even came into my job, and grabbed me quite roughly in front of a store full of people, and yelled at me. Good ammunition for me in court, right? There are several other issues...he is a Jehovah's Witness, and even though I requested he not, he has been taking our daughter to his church meetings. This makes me want to go for full custody...I do not want my daughter raised in that religion. He has also hired a lawyer.
So becuase HE has been acting like such an incredible a$$...despite my repeated attempts to settle this nicely...I am tempted to hire my own lawyer, petition the court to have him pay my lawyer fees, and see how much I can get to go my way. I'm talking full custody, at least 1/2 the equity on the house, alimoy, child support, and maybe even part of his pension? Is this overreacting?
I guess I just need some advice as to how to deal with this situation...from people who are going through it or have been through it!
First day as a member...first time posting. I am a 22yr old female, and I have a 16 month old daughter. Got married at 18 to my first boyfriend (how many women have made this same mistake, honestly?)...and about 4 months ago decided, finally, that my daughter and I really do deserve better, and moved out of the house. My soon to be ex and I own a house together...but as it is currently under construction, decided that it would be wisest for him to continue living there (this was before we lost the ability to communicate intelligently.) Everything was going just fine, we both agreed that we wanted to settle this out of court and as amiacably as possible. Within the past few weeks, things have begun to deteriorate rapidly. He has a history of mental illness, and it seems to have been surfacing recently. One day he's saying that he misses me and wants me to come home, and the next he's screaming at me in front of the neighbors and calling me horrible names. I, of course, have documented all these instances, just in case!!! He even came into my job, and grabbed me quite roughly in front of a store full of people, and yelled at me. Good ammunition for me in court, right? There are several other issues...he is a Jehovah's Witness, and even though I requested he not, he has been taking our daughter to his church meetings. This makes me want to go for full custody...I do not want my daughter raised in that religion. He has also hired a lawyer.
So becuase HE has been acting like such an incredible a$$...despite my repeated attempts to settle this nicely...I am tempted to hire my own lawyer, petition the court to have him pay my lawyer fees, and see how much I can get to go my way. I'm talking full custody, at least 1/2 the equity on the house, alimoy, child support, and maybe even part of his pension? Is this overreacting?
I guess I just need some advice as to how to deal with this situation...from people who are going through it or have been through it!

thegirlinjeans...
Pianoguy thinks you need to be fair to your daughter as well as yourself. HIRE A LAWYER OR LEGAL ADVISOR. .
Aside from "who gets custody" and how much---you have to realize that DAD has just as many rights as you do. Since he has strong beliefs as a Jehovah Witness...unless there's written documentation that prevents him from exposing your daughter to JW beliefs, he has a perfect right to bring her to any meetings or functions connected.
Hopefully, the store you were 'grabbed in' had a video camera that recorded the event as it happened? If not...and you don't have at least a couple of witnesses to back up your story...it MIGHT come down to a "his word against your word" situation?
While you're certainly entitled to make your divorce settlement desires very clear on this board...the person you need to REALLY DISCUSS THEM WITH is A LAWYER! He or She can advise you on the amount of leverage you actually have...and whether your "demands" are realistic or just a 'pipe dream?'
Good Luck!
Pianoguy