need support

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2003
need support
3
Sun, 10-01-2006 - 10:56pm
I guess I have a problem with my stbx. He has just come back from a deployment overseas, before he left he was involved with someone who was totally out of control. The woman did not like the fact that my stbx and I were talking because we have a 4yr old daughter together. She made sure that my stbx spent limited amounts of time with our daughter--it got so bad that my daughter maybe on average saw her dad for about 4 hours a week. Then it really started to unravel when I found out this girl was in trouble with drugs and had been in trouble for assult. Not to mention the fact that I had to get a restraining order against her because she assulted me and would not stop calling my house. I told my stbx that I did not want this woman around my kid--he always making up excuses why she was not a bad person or whatever. Then he deployed and while he was gone he broke it off with her and said he was sorry that he let someone take his time away from his daughter and that he wanted to make up that time with our daughter when he got back and how he was going to spend so much time with her.
Anyways, he got back this week. To my suprise he has already started another relationship with someone and had the gall to have her at the airport when I brought our daughter to see him. I didnt talk to her and he didnt introduce me either. I made it very clear that I dint appreciate it--seeing how our daughter hadnt seen him for several months. I told him that I didnt feel it appropriate to be having another woman around our daughter so soon and that he really needed to make an effort to spend soem quality time with just our daughter. He agreed. Then come to find out, he took my daughter over to her place and spent the night there with our child. I am quite frankly digusted and disturbed by this. My daughter has had somewhat a difficult time adjusting to the change in the family dynamics. I feel angry that he would do that afetr all the stress I went through with the last woman as did my daughter. And now to top it all off, he is not even trying to spend time with our daughter.
Monday, I going to call my lawyer and see if anything can be done to ammend our visitation at all. I will not deal with this again and having my daughter upset because my sbtx cant get his crap together. Has anyone else been through this and how do I handle this situation?? Any advice would be welcome. Thanks!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: brownie2129
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 11:35am

It sounds like the best thing to do is exactly what you have planned.

Peace,

Di

***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: brownie2129
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 11:38am

Definitely call your attorney.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
In reply to: brownie2129
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 6:58am
What about the grandparents? Could she stay overnight with them on the days he sees her? Not a good idea to have her at the girlfriend's house. Even better, if he doesn't want to see her, don't push it. Seems she might be better off with one stable parent than put in a situation that she doesn't understand and could be harmful to her emotionally.