Need Support other than Family

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2007
Need Support other than Family
1
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 9:12pm

Lets start at the beginning. I got married 3/27/99. Couldn't get pregnant, went through IVF 11/2003. 3/27/04 Had a beautiful son that lived for only 7min. Went through IVF again 8/2004 and lost my baby to an ectopic pregnancy in 9/2004. Went through IVF again in 12/2004 and had beautiful twins in 8/2005.


My x and I had a hard time coping with the death of our first born son. We had a breakdown in our marriage and we tried or at least I tried to repair it. Then in 12/2006 he started having an affair. I say it started in 8/2006 and he says 12/2006. I found out 2/8/07. I went to an attorney on 2/9/2007. He became abuse to me and our twins. between 12/2004 and 2/2007. He was served 2/20/2007.


We fought over things like child support and debt. He wants nothing to do with his children. Finally yesterday our case went to trial and we settled. There were things that I agreed upon that I didn't like to get the things that I liked.


I could kick myself now for settling. I wish I would have fought more.


I cried my eyes out when I found out he was having an affair. Even though he became abusive I wanted to try to go to therapy and do whatever else it took.


I got the D on 12/12/07.


I'm kinda taking this hard now. After the fact. I cried my eyes out earlier. Not over him though. Over the fact that it really is over. Over the fact that my babies won't have a loving father that he should be. I don't know why I'm sad but happy at the same time. Do you understand that? I don't. I'm happy that it is over and I'm finally rid of him.


I'm so emotionally drained and physically drained I could sleep for days and wake up feeling a little better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 10:54pm

Hi there.... it will get better (and I hope that you're already feeling better).... I know that holiday time is more challenging, but don't forget the reasons why the marriage ended.... no, it's not *ideal* or what anyone wanted, but it happened, and you and your children will be better away from someone who is abusive.


The sad part of your story, to me, is that I have a very good friend who experienced something similar.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~