Need to vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Need to vent
2
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 11:53am

I have to vent. My nerves are in overdrive. STBX showed up one hour ago UNANNOUNCED. So he plays with the dogs (I kept busy doing dishes/etc). So finally I ask him why he didn't call; he gets mad says he was JUST OUT FOR A DRIVE, where's his cell (which I pay for) that he ALWAYS has on him?? So then he asks me when I'm filing for divorce, I said I'm not emotionally ready to do that yet, just separation papers (which are still in the works--he tells me he told his lawyer to back off going after 1/2 my stuff and don't contest anything--yeah sure he did).

So after bantering at me that I have a role in all of his behaviour (alcoholic/I think narcisstic personality disorder too(spelling?), he tells me to look in the mirror and in the wine cupboard (yes I have wine in the house, like that makes me an alcoholic like him :S etc.) Then brings my parents into it and says that everyone is pretty quick to judge him--we stood by him for over a year when he was charged!! I don't think my parents are too pleased with their son-in-law breaking in to his own house, and threatening their daughter (doesn't remember this of course) GUHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I wanted to slap him. He still doesn't take ownership. Oh, and all the help he's getting? It's for ME or course, not him. And why won't I take him back if he's doing everything I asked him to do????

So, then he tells me that because I'm doing what I think is best for me, HE's going to do what is best for HIM. I think he's going to go after 1/2 of everything (including my pension!!!!) I'm beside myself with fear. I don't trust him AT ALL. Sorry for the long post, I needed to vent. Thanks.
I wish I could talk to my lawyer, but I have to wait until tomorrow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 7:49pm
Arghhhh! The alcoholic "reasoning" and mind is such a tortured place to try and understand. Hang in there!! Hang.in.there!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 8:17pm
Thanks movingon, I REALLY appreciate your post. I'm having a really hard time with this today. I know I will be ok, but it just frustrates the h*** out of me with the irrational behaviour dumped in my lap at random times. Is there an Al-Anon board here? Thanks again for your support!