need to vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
need to vent
1
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 8:36pm

Okay, back in September my stbx and I hammered out what we both agreed was a reasonable summer visitation schedule. He gets the kids for 7 weeks one of which is to be spent in our previous home state (long story) with his parents and one of my weeks to be spent with his parents as well.

During our settlement confernce last month that didnt settle the divorce he demanded 8 weeks every summer and the judge agreed to that. However, since the divorce is not final yet (we are still arguing) he has decided that the 8 weeks need to be enforced this summer and is seeking to have the temporary order modified and wants me to pay the costs since I am not just agreeing to the demand. Normally, I would just say what the hell it is not worth fighting about since my lawyer (who seems to be on his side but I can't afford to fire)says I won't win. But, in March our son begged to play little league, his father agreed and said he would stay until mid-June. That means I wouldn't get the kids back until 12 days before the school year starts in the fall but it was at least a reasonable compromise. Now if he gets the 8 weeks the only options are a) they leave a week earlier and our son gets to play in less than half the games his team has scheduled not including the tournament or b) they come back a week later which means 5 days before school starts and no time to shop for school supplies or school clothes.

I understand that the jerk wants to hurt me. I also know that his real reason for doing this is that if he has the kids for 6 consecutive overnights in a month his support is abated by 50%. He figures he will still leave our son here til mid-june keep the kids though the 11th of August and have 3 months of 50% child support in addition to his month for spring break and his month at christmas break. Why doesn't he see that it is not hurting me just the kids? Why is he so selfish?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 10:00pm

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I don't have any words of wisdom but I want you to know that you are being heard.

It is terrible when a parent is willng to use his or her children to punish the other. In the end, everyone loses that way.

I'm sending you positive vibes and you should feel free to vent away!