Need to vent about divorce & life

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2006
Need to vent about divorce & life
4
Wed, 11-29-2006 - 7:41pm

Hello Everyone!

I'm writing today because I need to vent and I feel so alone and depressed! I recently filed for divorce (Nov 1) because my husband of 6 years cheated on me while I was pregnant with our 1st child. Not only did he cheat on me but the way he treated me and the way he would love to spend money was not what I wanted to deal with for the rest of my life. Since my husband recieved the divorce papers he's been trying to get back with me over and over. I'm currently on maternity leave and ready to go back to work but now I'm having a problem with my employer because of budget issues and when I left I was a temporary employee but was offered a full time position as soon as I was ready to come back to work. Now I'm ready to work because I am totally broke and now they are telling me that I may not go back till mid December or in January. I'm currently begging my parents for money for my rent/baby supplies/utilities. I'm so depressed because I'm trying to adjust to becoming a new mom but at the same time I feel like crap because I cant even afford to put a roof over my child. My parents are stressing me out as well because of the financial situation and my soon to be ex isn't giving me any money. He says he doesn't have any extra money to give me. I thought if getting the divorce was the right thing to do that everything would fall into place and it would just feel right. Now I'm worried that I won't get my job and will have to start looking for something else soon. I'm just so upset because nothing ever seems to go my way. I'm a good person and I wonder why things aren't working out for me? This job is with a great company and the pay and benefits they offerd is awesome thats why I don't want to lose it and look for something else. I sometimes wonder if I should just go back to my ex at least I won't have to worry about rent and food.

Thanks for listening!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 12:12pm

I just wanted to send you a hug. I am just beginning the process so am not experienced. I would think your lawyer would be helping you get child support. You should be getting that.

I hope the job situation clears up soon.

We are good people, but life doesn't reward us for that. Many good people get slammed over and over. We just have to keep picking ourselves up, dusting off and trying again.

I *know* how hard it is!!

Keep posting. There seem to be alot of folks here willing to share support, encouragement and advice.

M

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 2:37pm

Hi there! You mentioned you filed for divorce on 11/1. Did you use a lawyer? If so, contact them ASAP so they can file papers so you can receive temporary support. That's too bad he doesn't have any "extra" money. In the mean time, can you parents continue to help you financially?

If you didn't use a lawyer, contact the court clerk so they can help you file papers to get support from your STBX while the divorce is pending. This is his child also, and he must help support him/her. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2006
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 11:34pm

Thank you for the advice and support! Each posting helps. No I didn't use a lawyer but I will be going to the court house tomorrow to ask about temporary funds! I didn't know that was available. Thanks!!

About my job I got a call today from one of my friends who works for the same company but he's a big shot and is willing to help me out as much as he can. Well he told me that he's planning on creating a position for me so I can get back into work! He said he needs to get approval and the person that does the approval is going on vacation. So it looking like the 3rd week of December would be the when I could start, depending if it all works out! I hope it all works out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 7:22am

Oct8mom,

Just remember that this is a tempary set back and that it will get better. Maybe you should look for a new job. There may be a better job out there for you!!! I know it is so hard. I feel like I don't have a penny sometimes and like you I have to rely on my parents. It is not for ever. This is a day by day process. Think about now not the first of the Month. Look in to State programs. I know it sounds bad but that is what they are there for. You pay in to it all that years that you work and now it is your turn for a bit in return. There are programs that will help you with stuff for the baby.

Also remember that you and the baby are #1. They are only this age for a short while so enjoy it. His or Her first holidays are coming up it is such a great time of year.

Just remember it will not be like this forever. You will make it!!!!!!