Need to vent...it seems so cold
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Need to vent...it seems so cold
| Sun, 12-09-2007 - 7:41pm |
Okay I really need to talk to someone. I just found email from my stbx that he sent this morning. He wanted to know the status of D. Nothing else was said. For some reason it is hitting me so hard. I just feel HURT. I guess I just want to hear more from him even if we are getting a D. Someone you are with for a lifetime and had a family with has nothing to say to me. Maybe because its the Holidays, that i feel this way.
We have been seperated for a long time. He had recently written an email and said we needed to get the divorce done. I definitely have a hangup emotionally and have had a very difficult time addressing the divorce. Yesterday I looked at things online and thought about what I would do on Monday regarding a lawyer. I was feeling more confident that I would be able to achieve this goal. ( and just do nothing and regret it or be sad)
Then it hit me so hard when I read that email. I guess I want to have control and let him know where things stood and what he would have to do. He supposedly recently broke up with the OW but can probably get her back if he hurries and can get this D over with. Who really knows, not me. I started to get MAD also and then I just came here.
I have distanced myself from friends. I have actually been embarassed that I have not gotten D. My best friend for some reason has not been in touch but that maybe because I have not been there for her lately. We do not live close to each other.
Somebody tell me how to get myself together. Have any of you felt this way?
We have been seperated for a long time. He had recently written an email and said we needed to get the divorce done. I definitely have a hangup emotionally and have had a very difficult time addressing the divorce. Yesterday I looked at things online and thought about what I would do on Monday regarding a lawyer. I was feeling more confident that I would be able to achieve this goal. ( and just do nothing and regret it or be sad)
Then it hit me so hard when I read that email. I guess I want to have control and let him know where things stood and what he would have to do. He supposedly recently broke up with the OW but can probably get her back if he hurries and can get this D over with. Who really knows, not me. I started to get MAD also and then I just came here.
I have distanced myself from friends. I have actually been embarassed that I have not gotten D. My best friend for some reason has not been in touch but that maybe because I have not been there for her lately. We do not live close to each other.
Somebody tell me how to get myself together. Have any of you felt this way?

I know how you feel. I am in the same boat. My husband wants to divorce (we've been living separate lives for well over a year now, and he moved out just over a month ago), and no matter what I do to make myself feel better--and to grow and to start a new life--I often find myself feeling empty and incapable of moving on.
I wanted to comment on what you said about your best friend. I read something recently that really rang true. It said that we'll quite often find friends--especially those that are married--drifting away from us as we grieve. It said that the reason for this is two-fold. Sometimes it's simply because their own relationship feels threatened. If their friend's marriage broke apart, it could happen to anyone. Even them. Another reason is that sometimes, you, as a single person or soon-to-be-single person, pose a threat to their marriage. You're free game, and sometimes your friend worries that you may want to encroach on her husband.
Don't take it personally. My closest friend has been surprisingly absent in my life, too, but some of my more distant friends have become my lifeline. I am doing my best to socialize, even when I don't feel like it, and I am thankful for my long-distance friends who continue to write and call. I know now that even though I may be alone in this big, old house of mine, I am not alone in this world. And neither are you.
Hugs to you.
Thank you. Its like we know what we should do but those emotions just get the best of us. I know it sounds extreme but I have at times not been able to see myself getting through the final procedure. I just so strongly felt our marriage would last and divorce was not right for us. And never did I think our family would be torn apart. The betrayal was pretty bad. Having said that I should be ready to end the marriage but it should be about stopping the bad behavior and changing to appropriate behavior. Making a relationship better, strengthening instead of throwing out. Addressing issues of concern. Oh I might as well say blah blah blah. When you are abandoned there is only one of you left in WHAT relationship.
I wanted so badly to write back some sarcastic little emails to him but I did not. I should not be afraid of what he might do at this stage but I am just a little. I think he is in a panic mode. How much uglier could he be to me? ??? He can not even say how he is doing when I inquire. I guess it goes hand in hand with no respect for me? So what do I do with my concern for him ? only the future will tell.
thanks for your help
Tell him that you'll address the situation after the holidays.
(((((((HUGS))))))
Tina
Yes, Tina we will get through this. You have a plan to wait till after Christmas. I think that is wise.
Bless you!