Hi there! We used to post here around the same time. I hope your second marriage is going as well as mine ;)
"So, I have basically spent $15,000 for nothing. No recourse to collect any of her fees from him."
That's the problem right there. Sometimes, we end up spending MORE in legal fees than we would actually recoup from the past-due child support, child-related expenses they are supposed to pay, etc. I don't advocate letting anyone get away with NOT supporting their children, but sometimes, a protracted court battle costing thousands of dollars in legal fees does nothing but put the "wronged" party further in debt. It's completely unfair, but it happens. That's when you have to decide if it's worth it to hire a lawyer to represent you.
"I am a little hesitant to go it alone in court."
I understand that completely. I ended up filing contempt charges in court on my own because my ex refused to pay half of our son's summer camp expenses and half of his medical/extracurricular fees. In the end, it was about $1,000.00. I'm not made of money, so that was a lot for me, but I certainly didn't have the cash to spend $2,000.00 on a retainer for a lawyer to only get $1,000.00 back. The funny thing was, the second I filed the papers, he suddenly came up with the cash! Funny how that works!
Trust me, going alone in court is not as scary as you might think. Court clerks can be helpful, and most judges are sensitive to people representing themselves in family court. I wouldn't want to fight a major custody battle on my own, but when it comes to smaller contempt charges and non-payment of support, I'd give it a try.
Good luck! I know it stinks to have to continue to deal with this YEARS after a divorce.
I think that the biggest reason I haven't gone after my EX... for not paying what he's supposed to pay... is because I know that it will cost ME to do it.
Hi there! We used to post here around the same time. I hope your second marriage is going as well as mine ;)
"So, I have basically spent $15,000 for nothing. No recourse to collect any of her fees from him."
That's the problem right there. Sometimes, we end up spending MORE in legal fees than we would actually recoup from the past-due child support, child-related expenses they are supposed to pay, etc. I don't advocate letting anyone get away with NOT supporting their children, but sometimes, a protracted court battle costing thousands of dollars in legal fees does nothing but put the "wronged" party further in debt. It's completely unfair, but it happens. That's when you have to decide if it's worth it to hire a lawyer to represent you.
"I am a little hesitant to go it alone in court."
I understand that completely. I ended up filing contempt charges in court on my own because my ex refused to pay half of our son's summer camp expenses and half of his medical/extracurricular fees. In the end, it was about $1,000.00. I'm not made of money, so that was a lot for me, but I certainly didn't have the cash to spend $2,000.00 on a retainer for a lawyer to only get $1,000.00 back. The funny thing was, the second I filed the papers, he suddenly came up with the cash! Funny how that works!
Trust me, going alone in court is not as scary as you might think. Court clerks can be helpful, and most judges are sensitive to people representing themselves in family court. I wouldn't want to fight a major custody battle on my own, but when it comes to smaller contempt charges and non-payment of support, I'd give it a try.
Good luck! I know it stinks to have to continue to deal with this YEARS after a divorce.
Just a hug or two.... what a mess!
I think that the biggest reason I haven't gone after my EX... for not paying what he's supposed to pay... is because I know that it will cost ME to do it.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~