New and need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
New and need advice
4
Wed, 03-05-2008 - 1:40pm

I have never posted on here, but I have been looking at some of the other posts and the support everyone is giving each other and hope I can be a part of that.

I've recently decided that I want to file for divorce. He has no idea that I want this yet. I have an appointment to talk to a lawyer next week. I'm not sure if I am doing the right thing or how to go about it.

I have been married for 3 years on the 20th. My husband and I started dating a month before I turned 17, he is 12 years older. We decided to get married after 9 months of dating when we found out I was pregnant. We were married two weeks after my 18th birthday. I was already unhappy in our relationship, but I really wanted what was best for my baby.

We moved to the state where his family lives and I hardly ever get to see mine. My mother met My daughter for the first time in August. He wants to control everything in my life. He is constantly putting me down and calling me stupid. He has only hit me once, but has lately been getting a little violent. He has always had a temper, but he's started throwing things and he punched a hole in the wall right above my head. I know I'm not perfect, but I can't deal with him anymore.

I'm tired of working on it, but I don't want to ruin my daughters life. Am I being selfish?

Also, we have a house and a lot of debt. Neither of us can afford the house on our own. The debt was all his until about a month ago when he took out a loan in both of our names and paid a huge chunk of it off.

I'm scared that I won't make it on my own. I'm scared that he'll take my baby from me. I don't know what the process is. Any advice would help. Thank you to anyone who reads this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2008
Wed, 03-05-2008 - 3:44pm
I can promise you this and I pray that you will think about what I am going to say.

 

 

 

 

 

******************************************* “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Wed, 03-05-2008 - 3:50pm

{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}


I know it is tough and I will tell you that I stuck it out a lot longer than I should have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 11:44am

HI there.... you've already gotten some great advice, so I also wanted to be sure that you were aware of our Recognizing & Dealing with Domestic Abuse


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2007
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 12:47pm
If he has hit you once and is punching walls and the like, he will NEVER get custody of the baby, so don't worry about that.
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