New and In Shock - Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
New and In Shock - Help!
2
Thu, 06-12-2008 - 11:25pm

This is a long post - sorry!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 8:51am

Everyday on this message board I hear stories that make me feel awful for venting. It just seems that unless the STBX can totally destroy us divorce isn't enough for them. With young kids involved there is nothing worse than what he has done. Kids have to be first in a parent's eyes and never hung out to dry like your STBX has done. As a former teacher, I saw daily the results of divorce-even civil divorce-on kids I taught. They always internalize and see it as their fault (in your case your daughter might-as your son is young enough to not understand a lot of this) My sons are 25 and 28 and were angry that I wouldn't discuss issues with them as they said that STBX had done this to all of us not just me.


You've also scared me to death as my lawyer is now suggesting we go the arbitration route and it seemed better than the jury trial discussed up until now. It is my understanding that the ruling in an arbitration case is a final ruling. (musiclover is an attorney and can help with this) This just sounds like you've been totally railroaded and something doesn't smell right (could be DaisyMae-dog at my feet as I type).


Someone else on this message board suggested that reading other people's email was illegal-I didn't think so because I do know that employers can read employees mail-I was the technology specialist in a large high school before retirement and always advised teachers to not write anything in an email that they would not hang on the bulletin board in their classroom-it is too easily hacked into. There may be a different standard with home email-legal help again here would be advised. The arbitrator said she didn't take it into account but sounds to me if she had the info and let you know she had it something isn't ringing true.


I'd love to tell you things get better but you are actually further down the road than I and I haven't found the better part yet. I can tell you that I will be thinking about you and the kids as you work through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 11:44am

Sorry I can't help you w/ this one as in MA we don't have either arbitration or jury trials for divorce.