A new attitude
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| Tue, 07-04-2006 - 11:01am |
After 5 years of fighting, I suddenly have realized that it is my attitude that determines my ability to deal with the ex. I have spent so much time trying to make him a better father, when he did something hurtful to the children I would immediately call or email him to tell him what he did and why it was wrong. Well, that ALWAYS ended badly, with him on the defensive and me being the "mother bear".
So, for the last couple of weeks, there has been NO communication except for the "what time are you picking up" type emails. I have not spoken to him on the phone at all. The other night, my daughter was crying about something her dad had done - any other time, I would have contacted him to tell him she was crying herself to sleep and what a horrible thing he had done and couldn't he tell how he was hurting her? But, I didn't - I have learned that it does no good, he would never, ever, ever admit he was wrong and it just causes more trouble. I had to fight with myself, I really wanted to tell him off, but I kept my mouth shut and dealt with my daughter.
Today is Independence Day and I am finally on the road to my personal independence.

You're a very smart woman ;-)
Celebrate your "independence" every day!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I honestly believe it's all about "engaging" with you (or me, as the case may be) instead of about their children. These men are still trying to control us, this time by hurting us through our kids. I think the less interaction, the better. Once my ex realizes I am not going to rise to the bait, it won't be as fun for him!
Hang in there, together we can shut down the roller coaster of emotions and just be who we really are and take care of our kids (at least your daughter has you to be her rock)