New to the board: my story
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| Fri, 06-02-2006 - 9:29am |
Hi everyone.
I think I need a place to vent and a place to talk to other people who are going through the same things. :(
My story:
I am in the process of divorcing my husband. I filed for divorce, our house is on the market, I am looking for work (have been a sahm for 20 mths...we have a 20 mth old son)
We have been using a mediator and so far so good....although none of this is easy. My H does NOT want a divorce and is making my life really stressful. We still live together in the house and neither of us can afford to move out...so here we are. It REALLY sucks. I hate seeing him...I hate the begging and the rationalizing and the guilt trips,the constant questioning. Its awful. He has accused me of sleeping with other men...you name it. Its BAD. I wish I could afford to move out. I would love to be able to move to my moms house 3 hrs away, but he says its out of the question and he will have me arrested. (not that he can really do it...but we are gonna have split custody so I do agree its not the best idea) Now he is even telling me what towns in our area I am "allowed" to live in with our son when I do move out. Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy and I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. What happens if the house doesn't sell by our court date in Sept?? Does that mean I still have to live with him?!!!!! AHHH
Sometimes I just feel so alone and scared. I have no family in state and all of my friends are happily married and don't get it. They are all starting out their lives and having babies and I am getting divorced. (I just turned 30) I know its the right thing, but I have NEVER felt so alone, and worthless honestly. Because I am constantly told that I am ruining my sons life (by my stbx) and that I am selfish and that I won't make it on my own. Sometimes I wonder if he is right. I am just exhausted. I wake up exhausted. Please tell me this gets better.
Thanks everyone.
Oh and I edited to ask a question. I cashed out my 401k which only had a couple grand in it...and H knows. But now I am wondering if I am gonna have to share that with him? Its all the money I have in the world!! Is this gonna get sticky? I don't think he is gonna try and take it from me...especially when he makes great money and has a huge 410k of his own...but....by law do I have to split it?? I am in CT. When we fill out the financial affidavit with the mediator do I have to mention it? Yes right?? crap.
Edited 6/2/2006 9:43 am ET by feelinglost2006
Edited 6/2/2006 9:45 am ET by feelinglost2006

Welcome.... first off.... does he have a 401K?
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Welcome! I'm from CT, too. I can relate to your feelings of stress and anxiety. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that your house does sell by September!
I understand you feel lonely and alone. I think most of us go through that at different times during our divorces. I also had MAJOR feelings of self-doubt, worthlessness, etc. But guess what? I divorced and I am doing really well! I am happy with my life, and the future looks good. If you'd asked me where I thought I'd be a year ago at this time, I probably wouldn't have given a very positive answer! You CAN do this, and you WILL make it on your own.
As for the 401k....sure, he can go for yours.....AND you can go for his! Just make sure you are honest and put everything down on your financial affidavit. And like Karen said...everything is negotiable.
Follow me to my partner in the siggy exchange....