New to board, question

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2005
New to board, question
7
Wed, 09-14-2005 - 10:34am

A little about my situation first. I have 2 children with my stbx. He hadn't paid child support in a year and a half. This past June he started paying, but no where near what the state wants him to pay. Child Support Enforcment has been trying to locate and serve him for the past year and a half. They finally served him and we had a court date for this Friday. Well now he had the date changed claiming they didn't give him enough notice. (he has known for the past year and 1/2 that they were trying to get him!) I just got off the phone with CSE and the next court date isn't til November!! I am so ticked off. I know he did this to bide time so he wouldn't have to pay what he should because he just moved in with his g/f and needs money to buy furniture and a car. I do NOT have a car, I did NOT have furniture and he did nothing to help nor did he care, so why should I? Anyway, my question is: Does anyone know if going through a lawyer to establish child support would be more effecient and quicker than waiting for CSE? CSE has not been very reliable, they don't fill me in on what's going on half the time, they use the wrong info I give them. For example: I gave them the town, state, and zip of where he lived, and they were looking in a different state that had a town by the same name! Does anyone have any advice or knowledge regarding this? Thanks for taking the time to read this! Have a great day!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Wed, 09-14-2005 - 10:48am

There are advantages and disadvantages, Lawyers are a lot quicker. BUT that makes it a civil case and in the long term if he's not reliable on paying, you have to pay your attorney every time he quits paying or for any changes to the CP order.

Hope this helps a little, Been there done that!! My ex didn't pay for 8 years, but in the long run he's not one bit reliable so I bided my patience and had to wait for CSE to handle it. Plus I had no money to hire an attorney.

Kerri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2005
Wed, 09-14-2005 - 11:20am
Thank you so much for your info! It was very helpful! I totally didn't think of the lawyer fees whenever somthing like that comes up. Thanks again!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Wed, 09-14-2005 - 1:59pm

Any father that cheats on helping with his children ...should have his nuts cut off..

For God's sake they are your own blood.

Rob

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-15-2005 - 3:16pm
Sorry to hear this. It sounds like you have to be fairly closely in touch with your CSE, so you can catch some of their more heinous mistakes. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 09-15-2005 - 3:23pm

As you're learning, when you deal with CSE YOU have to be reliable and persistent... and keep good documentation of what you do and when.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2005
Thu, 09-15-2005 - 4:25pm

Thanks Karen. :) Yes we are unfortunatley still married. The only reason that is the case is because I have not been able to afford an attorney. I was going to do the paperwork and file myself, but then had second thoughts when I found out that I could screw, (for lack of a better word lol), myself.

I HAVE been struggling, actually had to go on food stamps and put the kids on medicaid, which for me was very degrading. I don't know if he was living above his means or not though. I know he kinda does now. It would be nice if they factored in that he did nothing for a year and a half and actually tried to hide from CSE. He ran off to Canada, took our car that is in MY name, and didn't make any payments on it. The ceditor showed up at my door to reposses the car. Then when he moved back to the states, he left the car in Canada! I had no bad feelings toward him when we split up til he did all that.

I didn't mean to type all that, guess a little venting slipped out! LOL

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 09-15-2005 - 4:49pm

Degrading?.... maybe.... BUT remember, this is why we all contribute to that when we're working.... in case we need it one day :-)


Vent away!.... sometimes things need to just "slip" out; then we feel better


Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~