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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
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Wed, 01-10-2007 - 1:17pm
Hello Everyone-
As I sit her and write the tears are streaming down my face. My husband of 7 years told me Sunday that he wanted a divorce. What a blow! I figured as all relationships we were just having a "down" moment... little did I know. He proceeded to tell me that he wasn't happy and had not been for a while. That he didn't love me "in that way" and that he thought there was someone better suited for him out there. Is there another woman? I don't know but there weren't classical signs of it. To give a bit of history, he is military (special forces) and he deployed a lot including one 16 month stint. I never cheated, was supportive, and kept everything going. I feel like the last 7 years have all been a fascade, wasted time. I am numb, sad, devistated. Up until this epiphany of his, he had wanted to have a child, I am glad it didn't happen. I don't know what to do now, what the next step is. He took a bag of his stuff and said he would be back later this week for the rest. I am worried about how I will react when I come home to an empty house. I would sincerely appreciate any words of advise or wisdom - I need all the support I can get :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2006
In reply to: hpsredwood
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 2:57pm
Oh I am so sorry you are going through this. I am in healing too so dont know what advice I can give you. Mostly right now Love Yourself! take care of YOU! and remember you are not alone. many on this board are going through or have gone through the same thing. My husband filed for divorce after 28 years on the 5th. I am better but I did cry alot and before I went to sleep at night and the minute I got up for a long time. its getting better already. I found out there was another woman around the first of December that he says he loves much more than he ever could have me. One thing that is helping me is to remember the bad things he did to me. the hurtful things. I dont respect him at all anymore. I am going to write a list of all the bad things in the marriage and read it everytime I get to feeling bad. I know the feelings you are going through. Devastation, Pain, Agony, Tears, Self Esteem gone, hate, anger, fear, feelings of abandonment !!
Try to hang on and keep posting and vent it all on the board! there are some great people here who have wonderful words of wisdom!! It will be ok! yes be glad you didnt have a child. ((HUGS))
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
In reply to: hpsredwood
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 9:19pm

Hpsredwood,


I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation. Rejection is very difficult to deal with especially when its dropped in

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hpsredwood
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 9:31pm

Hi hps...

I'm so sorry that you find yourself in this place, but I'm glad if you're in this place, that you've found this board. As I'm sure you'll discover, this board is full of support, so find a comfy seat, put your feet up and relax here... vent here... gain knowledge and strength here...

Like the cl said, people who leave the relationship the way your h did often have been dealing with it for a while and are often in a different place as far as the grieving goes. Give yourself the time to feel what you're feeling... but at the same time, try your best to appear strong around him--I know its hard--I failed at this part miserably when my xh announced his intentions.

Gain knowledge--get copies of financial records, etc... seek counseling--it helps a great deal... and know that you're going to feel a lot of different things through this process... but we're here for you... pop in anytime and let us know if you're having a rough day or a good day...

*hugs*

Julie