New Here

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
New Here
2
Mon, 08-07-2006 - 10:43am
Hey everyone
I am new here, me and my husband are divorcing, I am pregnant and due in September. This was a planned pregnancy, we were married for 2 years together for almost 4 years, , , I never in a million years would have ever thought I would be raising this child alone. I feel like such a failure, and that my child is going to start out disadvantaged right from the beginning of his or her life.
Anyone else expecting????
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: george842006
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 12:12am

Hey there... I'm so sorry!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2006
In reply to: george842006
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 11:32am


Sorry for all you are going through. I was fortunate (if you want to call it that) and had both of my kids prior to divorce. My youngest was 4 at the time, my oldest had just turned 8. Raising kids on your own is not a picnic. However, raising them in a home full of strife isn't good for them either. My kids are more adjusted, happier, and much more stable now that my ex and I are divorced. We have managed to keep up a decent relationship for the kids and I think it tells in how the have adjusted. Try to set out with you ex right up front that your baby will not be a pawn in any silly tantrums, revenge, or the like. If you can make this "deal" up front, then the baby will be just fine. Either way, as long as you are happy, your baby will be happy too.

All of us on this board can probably identify with the feelings of "failure". I know I did. But it takes two to make any relationship work and "failing" doesn't really enter into the picture. I know now that I didn't "fail". I tried the best I could, so how could that be failure. The marriage didn't "work", but I didn't fail. Neither did you.

If you can look at yourself in the mirror and know you tried to do what you could for your marriage, then keep your head up. Respect yourself - and your newborn will love you even more.

Good luck and really take the time to enjoy this time of your life. A new baby is a joy like no other and you deserve to be happy.