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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
New here
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Mon, 06-13-2005 - 10:08am

Hello,
My name is Brooke and I'm 23 and, unfortunately, getting a divorce.My husband and I have been married for 2.5 years together for five.We married too young for all the wrong reasons.He joined the Army shortly after we married and we have been in Germany for the past couple of years.He just returned from a year deployment in Iraq and immediately got a girlfriend from the internet.They've been dating for about four months now.I found out last month.I have talked to her twice now.She called me last week crying because he is now sleeping around on her, gave her an STD, and she may be pregnant.I also found out that he had been cheating on me the entire time we were together and he was also very violent during the marriage.So, I'm positive I've made the right decision to leave.I'm still stuck in Germany until the Army sends me home..its a lot of paperwork to go through to make that happen.So, I'm here alone and my husband and I don't speak anymore..he is busy with all of his other women.Thankfully, we have no kids.I have a great support system..my family and friends.I'm also almost done with my masters degree so I should be able to get a decent job when I get back.I was also smart enough to close down our joint accounts and transfer all the money we had saved with him in Iraq into my account, so I'm not in any debt either when I get home.So, I guess it seems like I have everything figured out..but its just so hard to cope sometimes.He was my best friend for five years and all of a sudden he isn't.He never apologized, he doesn't care.He doesn't call or anything.He takes his new girlfriend to all the places we were going to visit and introduced her to all his friends that I once knew.It makes it worse that I'm so far away from anyone.I feel like a piece of garbage that has been thrown out.I also feel like such a statistic.All my old friends are getting married while I'm getting divorce..before the age of 24.I hate this.Sorry for complaining so much, I hope to get some support here.Thanks for reading.

Brooke

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
In reply to: bap17_81
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 12:12pm

Welcome to the board. Hugs to you. You will find a lot of support here. Even when divorce is the "right" thing to do, it is hard to go through. You are not a piece of garbage. You sound like a very intellegent woman. You will get through this.

Hugs to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
In reply to: bap17_81
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 2:02pm
Hi,
My name is Stacy I'm 25 and I'm leaving my husband b/c he doesn't want a baby. We were married for 4.5yrs and together for 7. I know how you feel. I'm so upset also. My heart is broken b/c he lied to me this whole entire time about kids. So here we are looking for answers and anyone who'll talk to us. I feel the same way but I just want to give up. It makes me feel I have nothing to live for. I havent' moved out either. It will be 3wks before I can move I have nowhere to go and no money to go with. I'm looking for an apartment or a roomate would be great. It's going to be so different and hard, i'm like you he is my best friend and now nothing. We still live together and we do talk. We love each other so much but just not on the same page. We never cheated we had a great marriage. I just don't understand...Maybe we aren't supposed to understand. Well, enought boo whoo.. Good Luck from Kentucky!!
Stac
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: bap17_81
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 2:36pm

hi an d welcome - i am sure you will find lots of support. the people on this board are different people, different ages, different countries, backgrounds, religions ----- and yet we have all been so supportive and helpful!


i am sorry for what you are going thru. you have, at least, solved some of your problems - you will be able to find a good job when you get back home, you don't have debt. i do suggest that (if you haven't done this yet) you seek therapy to deal with the marriage. you say that your husband was your best friend, and yet he was violent and cheated on you fro the beginning - this doesn't sound like someone who is a 'best friend'.


i was also in an abusive marriage and it was very helpful to me to seek therapy and move past it.


good luck and hugs