new here - how do i do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
new here - how do i do it?
6
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 3:53pm

ok, i have officially moved to this board from the betrayed spouses support. after having a 9 month affair during our engagement, wedding, and first 3 months of marriage, i am giving up. i can't keep doing this. so i moved out yesterday. i packed everything up, rented a u-haul, and moved back to my parents house.

tomorrow i will go to get the divorce process started. does it cost anything right now? how does it work? i live in wisconsin. if anyone can give me a quick rundown of steps, costs, advice... should we file jointly or individually? does it make a differece in how much it costs? we are not getting lawyers because we are in agreement about how things are split.

any advice?
thanks!




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 5:14pm

Hi Brooklyn,


Welcome to Surviving Divorce message boards. We hope you find help and support here.


Divorce laws and process

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 6:15pm
Uh, you still should have an attorney. Only one of you has to file for the divorce. To do this you find an attorney that is reasonable (they are out there), give the attorney a retainer fee (about 500 dollars or so) and the attorney starts the process. You will recieve letters and papers from the attorney that you and your spouse must sign and return. The attorney will ask for more money as things progress. In my case it was a total of 1200.00. Then you have your day in court in which only the one who filed has to
be there. The judge grants the divorce and off you go to your new life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 7:19pm

That really depends on the area of the country you're in and the complexity of the case. I have never known anyone to get away with less than a $1,500 retainer in CT, and that is VERY low end. Most of the time, it is closer to 3k-4k.

Also, many legal aid associations no loner accept divorce cases, unfortunately. I even checked into the local law schools, and they were unable to help. I have seen so many women have to file on their own and navigate the legal system with limited assistance because of this. Unfortunately, the options and resources are sometimes limited.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 8:18pm
I assumed it was a short marriage with no minor children involved. Mine was reasonable at 1200.00 and I was coming out of a 25 year marriage. No minor children and the property split already agreed upon. It pays to shop around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 12:45pm

Hi~


You've gotten some great advice, but I wanted to be sure that you saw our Community Website.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 2:13pm
I live in Georgia - and my husband just walked out and left us in September. I called around and tried to find an attorney but could't afford one - out of all the ones I called the cheapest was $1500.00. We went from a two person household that lives week to week to a one person household. I can't even pay our regular monthly bills. My parents are literally doing without to pay my husbands part of things. I filed myself...I had to pay the Clerk of Court $77.00 and I had to pay $80.00 to the local legal organ newspaper because I filed by publication (my husband was no where to be found) we had reported him missing with the local sheriff's dept. So filing hasn't been that hard other than that the paper work had to EXACT. They are very picky about that. My husband couldn't even be served with papers since he hasn't been seen or heard from. Next week will be the 4th week that it runs (that is how many weeks it has to run in Georgia) - my court date is January 8th. If he doesn't respond or whatever you call it - I guess the divorce will be finalized without him ever signing anything. I know alot of people file themselves here in Georgia when they know where their spouse is...so I guess then it would only cost the $77.00 you have to pay the court - you wouldn't have to pay the $80.00 charge for the newspaper ad. The really sad part is -- I haven't even gotten a penny from him...what does he think that we are living on? And he KNOWS how many bills we have. They are going to repossess his truck as soon as they find it I guess. There will be no insurance on the truck after Saturday....he comes off from health insurance December 31st. This has all been so sad -- if anyone has read any of my postings before. This was not something that I wanted -- but he really left me no other choice.