new here- just venting....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2008
new here- just venting....
1
Sun, 08-24-2008 - 6:27pm

Okay, so here i am. Finally. been watching the site for a while, but ive finally hit a wall. Its time to start talking and getting some stuff off my chest. I dont know all of the abbreviations that are used, so i appologize. I am currently separated from my husband...pending a divorce. We have no kids,so in VA you have to be separated for 6 months. i am 1 down. So here it goes...been with the husband for 5 years. waited for him for 2.5 yrs....2 different deployments. been the faithful wife, did my part and was what i was supposed to be. 2 months after he returns from Iraq, he tells me that he isnt in love with me anymore and does not want to have children with me. that he sees me more as a roommate than a love. WHAT A STAB IN THE HEART! then he tells me that hes thought of this while in iraq actually thought that i was going to divorce him while he was gone. how dare him! the thought has never crossed my mind...so when he tells me that it hits me like a ton of bricks. I am stunned, shocked....confused....so with in a week, he's moved out...and left me in this huge house to take care of with my cats...cats that he wanted to get and now i am stcuk with....but dont get me wrong, they keep me company, so i am glad to have them, but still. Not only is he unemotional, he is out having a grand time at the bars with his buddies racking up tons of bills that we are both still connected to. I had plans to start nursing school in the Summer 2009 but i need to find a place to live come February and come may, my salary will go from 2200.00 take home pay to 1k take home pay/... i have no idea how i am going to support myself. we agreed on a lump sum that i would get and he will keep everything else. its all uncontested, but the diff. is is that he has hundred of thousands from his inheritance, so he isnt going to walk away broke. I finally opened up a checking account with a wopping 250.00....so im hoping to grow that to atleats 1k come february so i have a little extra spending money....so why am i so upset today, you may ask? wellllll i am pretty sure he is already seeing another woman who just so happens to have a kid! he tried to play it off smoothly, but he isnt so good at it and so i decided that i would do something nice for him, but that came back to bite me in the ass....i dont have time to finish my story...but


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Sun, 08-24-2008 - 11:13pm

I don't know if I'm in any position to offer any advice, since I'm in the same boat as you. What I have learned however, is that just the simple process of coming on to these boards and venting about anything and everything is very cathartic for me. It's like free therapy, and just knowing that's someone else understands this specific pain is so helpful in the healing process. Also, for me I have sought out advice from divorced women. One of my close friends divorced 12 years ago and she's been a great source of information, advice, and just simply a person I can vent to. Also Google anything you want to know about divorce, I found plenty of resources offering great advice on how to help you cope. Good luck, and know that we are all here for you.