New here - need a place to vent
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| Mon, 11-13-2006 - 12:29pm |
Hi all! I have been lurking here for a while now but this is the first time I have posted anything. It has been a rough weekend and I just need to vent a little.
My STBX & I have been separated 5 months after almost 9 years of marriage. I have one DD (13) from a previous relationship, that he adopted. I was the one who wanted the divorce and who moved out.
We discussed the property agreement(never signed), agreed on joint custody for DD, we each keep our own vehicle, he keeps his boat and JD lawn mower, no child support, no alimony. That only leaves the house. He is a builder, so he knows several agents in the area. One of them told him they had a couple looking for a house like ours. He asked me about selling, I agreed, and he showed the house. Unfortunately, it was the couple's second choice. He then stated that he would list for sale as soon as he finished the bonus room. That was four months ago, no work has been done.
Then Friday, he called, stating that he was changing the locks on the house, he didn't want me out there anymore. He stated he had consulted an attorney and that I had no rights to the house since I moved out and he wanted to refinance the house in his name alone without paying me anything for my part of the equity.
His attitude has gotten progressively worse over the past months, I think because he didn't think that I would go through with the divorce. I don't think he thought I could make it on my own.
Of course, I am angry that he suddenly thinks I don't deserve anything, especially since I was the only who was solely responsible for taking care of the place while we were married, inside and out. And that's with me working full time outside the home as well. I just can't believe his greediness, especially when we had worked out such a fair deal.
Perhaps I was stupid for thinking I could get through this without going to court, but I only expected things to be divided fairly. I'm not out to take everything he owns. And now I will have to pay the attorney money that I needed to use to pay down debt and take care of DD. Just such a waste of time and money for something that could easily be worked out on our own! ARGH!!!!!
Christi

Sorry to hear that - it does sound unfair...
I guess people - aka men - starting divorce procedures get a "state of mind" that makes them feel entitled to everything. The more decent a lady has been, the more sometimes things turn out to be unfair. I suspect some external influences to be the reason of the change of mind...
I hope you will still find a fair and peaceful resolution - maybe he'll get some sanity back.
Thanks for your reply.
I have already consulted an attorney previously. She was the one who prepared the initial property agreement. It was just never signed.
And you're right. I figured it probably wasn't going to be that easy. But you can always hope. I know there are couples who can remain civil during/after a divorce. Why shouldn't we be one of them? Guess that's what I get for thinking.
I went today and paid my attorney and told her to go ahead and file the necessary papers. Maybe once that is done, it may be enough for him to change his mind. If not, I guess the next step is court. And the attorney already informed me during the initial consultation that if there is a property dispute, it can take months before the courts will make a decision. I just really dread the whole process. I want the divorce to be over with. And I don't want to be greedy, but there is about $80,000 of equity in the home. That's just too much money for me to walk away without a fight. Guess it's going to be a long few months.
Christi