New here from PA area- what to do????
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| Tue, 03-22-2005 - 6:19am |
I know the first step is to see an attorney. Thankfully, I work with several and one actually used to work in Family Law. I obtained some free information, and was about to have everything filed and then got sick. I have been on leave of absence with unknown return time. BUT, I can't handle it anymore.
I am a 30s mom, 1 child under 5, married 5 years. We met after a bad relationship I had with a boyfriend. DH actually helped convince me get him out of apartment etc... Come to think of it, I have never not had a boyfriend... hoped from one to another. Husband was fine with first year of mortgage. Second year I got pregnant, we tried quite a bit ;) He was okay in beginning of pregnancy, but was very jealous of my attention. Once I had the child, I did NOTHING right... he belittled me, criticized me, and yells at me. He never lifted a hand. It came down to my friends and family asking what was going on? I asked what did they mean, they say he has captured my personality, mind, and esteem beyond repair. I saw a counselor, whom agreed. I then looked at things. I did not go back to school or study law, he did not want me to. I did not get the house I wanted, he did not like it. I even bought a car in my name, because he thought it was better.
Nothing against someone who never went to college, I never completed.... he has a high school education. He is NO better than me. Heck, I have an appraiser's license for automobiles and do all the household work and repairs.
He has controlled my hair, my clothes, my life. I have asked him to leave he won't. I financially right now need him, along with for the car of my child. I can't stand the man.
He's been living here for officially about 6 months straight. Occasional fights he leaves. I go out with friends. I want to get back to work, but can't right now with illness. I just don't know what to do. I tape recorded him and played it back to him. I just want piece. He's about 40, so the thought of him changing is going to bad. I asked about counseling during our child's first year he did not want to go.
It's to the point when he sips coffee, eats.. I cringe.
I don't have the money right now to go back to attorney. I need to figure out can I make him leave. Also, he has daughter saying what he says to me.
It's the new year, well sort of, I want the new free me...
I have looked into colleges and about to apply. I am thinking of loans. Apartments are so expensive, I am better off keeping the house.. but I don't think I can handle everything. Dramatic cuts will have to be made, I am more than happy to do them to get out.
What steps has anyone done before attorney?
I never took credit out in my married name. We already have separate accounts. I have secretly ordered his credit report, and no joint credit except for house and small home equity loan.
What if I become permanently disabled? Am I destined to put up with crap? He actually punched a wall near me the other day. So, I know it's getting worse.
Please help. Please tell me your story. Please advise of cheap good attorneys in PA, Philadelphia area. Bucks County preferred. I told the attorney I was going to that I did not need their service, they did quote me some wrong things.
Tish

Thank you.
But he never hits me. He hit the wall once.. Physically I can not take care of daughter, and don't want to lose custody. Family all lives far away.
Jenn
He hasn't hit you..... yet.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
good luck and keep us posted