New Here-Please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2011
New Here-Please help!
5
Thu, 11-10-2011 - 10:46pm

My husband and I have been together 20 years, married 17. We have two children ages 8 and 10. 3 months ago he said he wasn't "in love with me anymore". he said he would try to work on it. We went to a crappy marriage counselor for 3 weeks and he didn't want to "try" anymore. since then, he has changd his mind at lrast 3 times ( I will try, a week later, I'm done). I refused to kick him out because he doesn't want to make the hard decsion. When I finally had enough,I asked him to move out. i took the kids away for 4 days..He didn't move. He wants to love here and have me as a friend until i move out (our land lords are selling the house, more stress) It is making my life a living hell. I go between crying for hours to being so angry i want to hurt him. I have never felt this way before. I need to find a way to cope.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 12:06am

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 10:26pm

Hi,

Here's my first question: What made the marriage counselor "crappy?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2006
Sun, 11-13-2011 - 1:07pm

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I can only imagine the pain and the feelings of betrayal, the anger and hurt and disappointment.

I am having some deja vu, reading your message--I went through something similar in my first marriage, but I was the one who fell out of love. I will tell you what was happening. I am not at all proud of some of

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2006
Sun, 11-13-2011 - 4:20pm

I responded just above, but I'm not positive I helped much.

I wanted to also say that when I first separated from my husband, my lawyer told me there was a way to force him to move from the house. Since your landlords are selling, maybe you have to leave anyway so maybe it's not worth it, but you might look into the possibilities in your state for removing him from the household, if you are sure you want to do that.

Good luck, I hope you feel better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2011
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 2:42pm

She was on his side the wole time. She never gave us any tools for ficing anything other than "Go on date night" which we did.