New here, with a question

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
New here, with a question
3
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 1:13pm

Hello everyone.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 2:28pm

Mom,


Hi. Glad you found us here on SD&S.


Here's my question: Why not try separation for a while? Him living on the property in a separate residence may be workable. Separations are often helpful because it gives both parties "breathing space" and you have better perspective on your issues.


My suggestion is you both see a marriage counselor. Go in the spirit of discovery not to "fix" each other, but do get some objective help getting your issues on the table. The goal of marriage counseling isn't always to save the marriage; it's to help each of you discover how you each contributed to the marriage for good or bad. This is valuable information to take into your future.


A qualified marriage counselor can also help you "structure" your separation so its productive. You agree on child care, bills, dating (or not) visits, etc.


I'd really encourage you to take this route before you file for divorce.


Take care,


CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2008
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 8:37pm
If you are trading houses back and forth and living on the same property, how can you shift the dynamic of "married" to "divorced".

 

 

 

 

 

******************************************* “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 11:24am

I don't see anything bad about the 2 of you switching houses when he does the visitation, assuming that neither one of you is the type to be nosy and looking around personal papers or computers or things like that.