New here - ready to leave

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2006
New here - ready to leave
2
Sun, 11-19-2006 - 9:42pm
I had the papers all ready, packed my things and took them to my OM's and many other things in preparation. My friends and my brother all told me to leave a letter and just go. I had to be stubborn and 'nice' and hand HIM the papers instead. Stupid move. He literally blocked the doorway with one hand on each side of the doorframe when I went to walk out with my daughter. I didn't want to push him any farther. Maybe too chicken, who knows. She was supposed to be at the neighbors (my daughter is only 6 yrs old) but I guess she snuck out and came back here. I probably could have done it had she stayed where she was supposed to be. But now I'm stuck here all weekend 'playing' his game. He won't let me go anywhere alone with my daughter. I'm not leaving her behind. My OM was gone for the weekend (I was supposed to go with) and won't be back till Tues. My brother's girlfriend has offered to come over and talk with me tomarrow and come support me when I leave Tues. H has been talking about taking Tuesday off so he can look for work. If he does that I have to wait till Wed. I don't want to wait a minute more.
Then H comes down with the stomach flu. At first I thought it was only stress or whatever. Apparently the neighbors all had the flu last week too and H DOES have a fever. I sure hope I don't get it. This will only make it harder. Also I started my period 8 days late - This FRIDAY the day I handed him the papers. Made me the most emotional person on the planet when you combine everything. Thanks for letting me vent. I don't want to dump on my brother anymore and OM is gone so not available to talk to either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2006
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 10:20am
I hope you and your daughter are doing alright through all of this. Am i to understand that you are being forced to stay at the house against your will?? This sounds like a scary situation to me. I honestly do not know what advice to give since I have never been in this situation before, but I will agree with whoever told you to leave a note and just disappear. I have had some Psycology and DV training and I can tell you that the most dangerous time for a woman is right after she leaves. Im not trying to scare you out of leaving, but you need to know this so that you can include some serious back up support in your plans when you do leave. Also, the fact that he wont "let" you go anywhere with your daughter is alarming and I can guarentee will only get worse. I suggest you get on the phone with a Domestic Violence hotline, (even if violence has not occured, with his behavior, physically blocking you from leaving, it would not surprise me if this became an issue) see what resources they have to help you. Sometimes an advocate can show up at the house with the police to be with you when you physically leave and take you to a secure location. And it will be on record that this is what it took for you to leave. A restraining order would be easier to get if needed. Like I said, im not sure what advice to give, if this were me, Id be mad as he** but Ive never been in a situation like this. My only advise is to really plan your next move, with some outside help, I dont think it will be as easy to do it on your own this time. Good luck to you and please keep us posted on how you are doing.Take care and be careful, Molly
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 11-25-2006 - 9:31pm
Hey... chiming in here a bit late... How are you?

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~