New Life New Name - Has anyone ever...
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| Fri, 03-09-2007 - 12:16am |
...changed their name to something else altogether?
My maiden name is not suitable for me...I haven't spoken w my father since 1990. Long story, but after spending ten years of trying to reconcile, he still won't speak to me. He didn't show up to my wedding and won't even acknowledge that he has three wonderful grandchildren. Anyway...since I don't relate to him any longer, I don't want his name.
I don't want to keep my married name because I don't relate to my ex, even tho we have a child together. (I have two children from a previous marriage as well, and have been using that name since he and I have been like best friends since the divorce - but he and my best friend got together and now we have no relationship because she's so insanely jealous and we can't even speak about our children together. I was so understanding and flexible about boundaries, but nevertheless, she still wants us to have NOTHING to do w each other.) So I don't feel that using his name is appropriate either.
I have been thinking that since I have become so independent after being on my own w my kids, and because I don't even see why I have to have a name from some man I've been associated with, that I would just choose a name change for myself.
Has anyone done this? I don't know how I go about choosing. Do I just flip through the phone book and look for something that sounds good to me? LOL

Hi haleakala69,
I have been going through the exact same thing lately, well, since I have been legally divorced (2 years), but like you I don't know how to go about it, the cost, etc. Just yesterday I looked it up online and it seems that changing it back to maiden is right there on the forms, but I, like you did not have a relationship with my father and he's been dead now for 10 years, and I was married for 18 years so that girl, with that last name is non-existent, if you know what I mean. I have been using my maiden name quite often lately and although I am getting used to it again, it still feels very unfamiliar and awkward and I, like you have been thinking about changing my name to something new for a fresh start so to speak. I was considering my grandfathers last name because we were very close and it technically keeps it in the family. Do you have any other relatives you are close to that you could use their last name or perhaps a family members middle name that would work? Or perhaps any relatives with first names that would be appropriate, such as the name Madison... it could be a first name or last name. I did a family tree for a school assignment and in doing so I was reminded of both of my grandmothers maiden names and they were each unique and interesting and again has a family tie. How about either of those two names? Also, I do recall, back in high school a boy changed his name to something completely different then his family and he was only a senior in high school. I remember him missing school to go to court for it, but there again, it can be done. Good luck and let me know what you find out, but most of all, have fun with investigating and discovering a new you!! Peace to you, hbean
good question & good post - i have definitely thought about choosing new one...however, i actually have grown to love my first name - as far as my last...well...i don't dislike it enough to go thru the process of ridding myself of it - so i'm fine w/what i have - i never changed my name when i got married, so that's not an issue for me...but i think changing your name all together could be a great thing if it's something you've thought about really doing :-) i say find something original, that you think fits you...of course the only thing about that is that we are constantly evolving and changing - and you may need to replace it eventually as well, lol!!!
Laurel
That is a really creative idea! Performers do it all the time with a stage name. Not so uncommon.
I always loved alliteration--where the first and last name begin with the same letter...ya know, Robert Redford...Betty Buckley...Danny DeVito...Mathew McAughoney (sp wrong I know)...you get the idea.
And if you just can't choose a last name that you like, you can go strictly as a 1-namer!! Ya know, like CHer, Madonna, Sting, Bono, Slash, etc etc :-)
:-)
Loves
I am like you and don't want to keep my STBX's last name and when mine is finalized I'll be going back to my maiden name. I can totally understand you not wanting your maiden name, but what about your mom's maiden name? Then you still have a family name to go with and your honoring her in the process.
It's just a thought....let us know what you decide.
Jen
Have you looked through your family history? How historical names from your mom's side? I gave my sons middle names from the old family tree and I just love them. Then you will have a name with roots.
Funny thing, I was married 9 years and kept putting off changing my name with SS administration. Then for the job I have now, I had to make my SS card match everything else and changed my name to my stbxh name AFTER I knew we were getting divorced! Actually, I went with the new wife of my stbxh's brother. Totally weird, I know. I like the ring of the name better than my maden name so, I'm keeping it...so what if stbxh is dirt.
What great suggestions, Ladies! Thank you!
Actually, the names in my heritage are VERY asian. Nothing simple like Lee...but things that would be difficult for ppl to spell, and doesn't really match my appearance. Some ppl can see the asian background and some ppl cannot, so I'm thinking I don't completely look asian...LOL.
Still trying to work it out...more input or ideas or experiences would still be helpful.
Renee
My name will be changed back to my maiden name...even though I do have 3 kids with him and my oldest really wants me to have the same name as her.
I honestly couldn't imagine keeping his name esp with the thought of him marrying again and I would end up having the same last name as his new wife...I couldn't do that!