New on this road

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
New on this road
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 6:27pm

My husband left me only a few days ago. Reality is starting to sink in.... I have a question - how do you handle your wedding ring? I'm still love my husband dearly, well, the man I knew before the moving van driven by his kids pulled up to the house. I can't describe the pain I feel. I know the odds of the marriage continuing are about 1 in a million. I don't want to take my wedding band off, but, I hate looking at it and remembering all it represents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2011
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 8:11pm


I am also very new here and in great pain.

I say take off your band when YOU are ready.

There is no time line.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 9:16pm


Hello. My first advice to you is to find an experienced divorce attorney so you can learn your rights and responsibilities in the face of divorce. That's critical because your emotional state gives your husband the advantage here. He's obviously been planning to leave for a long time, and you were surprised.

I agree with the other poster that your wedding ring on or off is up to you. In the meantime, you need to get advice on how to handle your situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
Tue, 08-09-2011 - 1:23pm
Did you and your H decide if you're divorcing or just a separation? I too am in pain. I would like to communicate via email with people, but I know it isn't a good idea to put your email address out on these boards.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
Wed, 08-10-2011 - 9:20am

Thanks for the support. It's nice to knwo there are others out there who understand my pain.

I saw a lawyer the day after my husband left and she gave me some basic things to do regarding bills. I saw my priest Monday, too. Both said not to contact my husband, which I have no desire to do anyway. I'm just starting to function some. I got some financial information, but, haven't looked at it. I'm trying to be careful about power usage, turning off more appliances than my husband ever did, to lower that bill.

I've been trying to get back some control of my house. My husband only took a couple of pieces of furniture, leaving things that made no sense to me. Today I have the goal of rearranging furniture in the living room - where I've been sleeping because I can't handle the bedroom - so I don't have to look at his chair, the spot on the couch where he often sat etc. I'm getting things off the walls; tossing little - thankfully I have some space to put things - because I'm not sure what I may want to keep and I don't want more regrets.

I also renewed my library card. I've gotten some books to read - NOT romances! - that I can escape into for a few moments.

I know this road has a light somewhere; I wish it didn't seem so far away!