New Years Eve-OverRated?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2003
New Years Eve-OverRated?
2
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 8:58pm

I too am alone tonight. I have not been on for awhile. I am long term separated from my husband and we are just starting divorce proceedings. He lives with his GF and has made quite a new life for himself with her.
We always did New year's Eve up big with all of our friends...big parties, hotels, trips, etc. Now that I am the single one in the group, they all still go out together with my STBX and GF. I am now the left out party because I am single at this time, no partner.
So I thought I was okay with not going out. Start new traditions for me. Fixed myself a nice dinner, had some wine, and now I feel sorry for myself. I look out of the window and everyone's homes are dark because they are out.
Is this night over-rated? Or is it the let down after the holidays? It is just another night...I keep telling myself that. But keep thinking about all my friends out together, knowing what a great time they are having, and I am not there. But STBX and GF are and I hate that.
Just needed to vent. Thought maybe there were other lonely ladies out there tonight.

So I say, here's to a New Year with Great New Adventures!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 2:33pm

lol - your subject line says it all...yes New Year's Eve as most other holidays are totally overrated!! first of all if you do spend them alone, everyone for some unknown reason "feels sorry for you"...so then of course you have no choice but to feel sorry for yourself...i won't even go into christmas and all the hype w/that...people going into debt for the whole rest of the year, just so they can say what they bought & got, it's all quite mad if you ask me...it's all how you look at it...the fact is, the best company you should ever have is your own...if you wanna go out w/people & have friends, it doesn't have to be new years eve in order to do so...as a matter of fact, many of my best new year's eve's have been sitting at home, yep! alone! doing what i want, watching dick clark or something...my husband has been threatening divorce for awhile now & we spent new years eve separate...i happened to be invited to a get together in the neighborhood & fortunately there were other singles there, so i didn't feel totally odd...but i think in the end, it's all how you allow to yourself feel about something...sounds to me like you need to build a new support system & one that will help to allow you to do more of what you want...if you wanted to be out on new year's eve partying then you should find a group that has that commonality...there are just as many singles as couples, but it's up to you to find them...in essence you are never alone, but sometimes we all need to feel the feelings of sadness etc., as long as we get past them & remember that ultimately everything in our life is up to us...including how we spend & feel about holidays...

Laurel :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2006
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 8:19pm

My husband was always what I thought was just a bit "quirky." 7 years and a separation later I realize he was becoming more and more depressed and pretty verbally/emotionally abusive. Not really a bad guy, but definitely screwed up to the point that I just don't know if he will ever get it together enough to be happy. He never wanted to go out and be social, and New Year's was no different.

I have always found New Year's over-rated and never really liked it.....however, this year for the first time I was alone. It was depressing at first but then I found it less-stressful. I wasn't feeling neglected or "un-special" to my husband who was usually sleeping on the couch across from me......

I guess I am just trying to get in the mind-set that for the first time, this year really is a new start......It is the first time in a long time I was not waiting for a guy. (I had my son at 22 and his father couldn't handle it, my husband and I had 2 girls and he couldn't handle it) I would be lying however, if I was not hoping to be with someone by next year.........