Newbie here.....wish I weren't
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Newbie here.....wish I weren't
| Wed, 03-22-2006 - 8:31pm |
My husband filed for divorce. Kissed me goodbye, said "I love you" at 6:00 am and at 4:00 pm I was served with divorce papers. Sure, we have had some problems but this? I am broken beyond measure. My tears splash against my keyboard as I type this. I celebrated my 9th anniversary last week alone and crying. We have three children and I have a step son who is 12 that I cannot live without. He was my first baby. How do you walk out on your family...how do you walk out on your life? He refuses to leave our home and is seeking 50/50 custody of our three boys. I am wilting away inside...every day I must see him and smile for the sake of my beloved boys. My babies....my perfect, innocent, sweet babies. They know because when I got the shock of my life they were there. Husband says I should have "contained myself better".....jerk. I cannot beleive this has happened. This man has been a wonderful husband and father. I cannot imagine my life without him.

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I'm sorry that you have to be here, but I'm really glad that you found us... everything the questioning, the everything you described emotion wise is completely normal...
I know that I didn't want my divorce a couple of years ago either and was a wreck for several months, much longer than people expected me to be... the thing that makes this all so hard, as I'm sure you realize, that a divorce isn't only the end of a relationship, it is the end of dreams of where you were going in your life and where you'd wind up at the end of the road... and that is OK...
Take time to feel what you're feeling... cry when you feel like it... laugh when you feel like it... focus on your munchkins and find something in them to make you smile... Take care of yourself... eat... sleep... that sort of thing... those basic needs can be hard to meet when you're first thrust into this limbo... you should consider counseling, I sought counseling with my pastor during my separation and it was extremely helpful... and may want to also consider talking to your doctor if you find it difficult to meet your basic needs (food, sleep)...
Please come back and keep us posted... we're here for you...
*hugs*
Julie
Oh hon... I'm so sorry! *hugs* I'm new here too, but I can feel your pain right through my computer screen.
We'll all hold each other up, k?
~~Kamma
Oh Sweetie - perhaps the "wonderful husband & father" really wasnt what you thought he was.
I am so sorry. I am not in the same situtation, but i can attest to the fact that the greiving & the pain with this, just as in anything, WILL subside. & you will be ok. You have your children & your 12 yr old SS is old enough that i bet he will want to continue a realtionship with you.
Hang in there, 1 month from now, 6 months ... a year ... it only gets easier.
HUGS
Don't worry about the way you reacted! When you experience a tremendous shock, it's not really reasonable to expect you to hold it together. Does your H have a reason for not discussing the divorce with you before serving you the papers?
You are going to be experiencing a lot of conflicting emotions right now, all of which are normal....shock, anger, disbelief, rage, etc. The best thing you can do right now is take care of YOU, so you can care for your children.
I can't imagine finding out the way you did. I'm so sorry!!! I hope that you have the support there that you need.
It strikes me how helpless you must have felt the he made such a huge decision without any notice to you. Feeling powerless like that is an awful thing.
:hug:
Take care of yourself~
JNSMOM
I'm so sorry.... "Jerk!" is a good word for him.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
My boys and I are flying out to visit my mom so I will be gone for a few days.
Again, Thank you. JNSMOM, I hope we can keep in touch. How odd that things are so similarly painful. I too had big plans for our tenth which included renewing our vows.
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