Newbies Listen

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2005
Newbies Listen
11
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 11:04am

Dear newbies to divorce,

I sympathize with all of your emotion that you are currently feeling and the grief and heartache and the beliefs that you are still holding onto. But I'm giving you one piece of advice, everything you hear on this board that people tell you to do to protect yourself finacially....LISTEN TO IT!! I didn't and now it's hurting me, I believed my husband would not do things to affect his children financially, I believed that my husband would let us stay in our home. I believed in him....after 19 years what else did I have to go on,he was a good christian man that did not believe in lying.

He has now quit his job, trying to claim poverty, his family is helping him hide money so that he does not have to pay child support or alimony, he has stopped making our house payment and allowing it to move into forclosure and he came into our home and took all of our bank records, taxes and loan documents.

When you are told by the people who are on the other side of this current but ending nightmare to copy your taxes, bank accounts and all releveant financial information...do it!! When they tell you to change the locks!!! Do it!!! When you think that he won't stoop to doing something...at least prepare yourself that he might.

I'm telling you from experience my husband hated men that acted this way he thought it was very un-christian. He hated men that cheated, he now has a girlfriend 13 yrs younger. He would have done anything to be with his girls and provide for them, he now sees them 3 hours a week and pays no support.

My court date is in 38 days and I hope and pray that the judge will rule in my favor but there are no guarntees. I have had to take days off of work and spend money trying to get documents and proof of everything. He has also gone back and taken my name off of accounts so that I may not contact them for information.

Listen Listen Listen, I know it's hard now but save yourself the heartache later.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 11:27am

Great advice.... even though the divorce documents are typically prepared by one spouse or the other, they're designed to outline the rights and responsibilities of BOTH spouses.


Even if you think the other spouse will do the right thing... it's just always good to have it all in writing.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

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