No turning back - any help?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2008
No turning back - any help?
2
Sat, 07-26-2008 - 1:48pm

I've posted a couple of times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2008
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 8:17pm

Wow,


I am sure so many people can relate- I could have written that word for word, so we have been in limbo / denial for a year and a half and I am just waiting- for what? I don't know- but mostly financial reasons, and I am taking this time to focus on me and work on finding what I want. I used to post on here, then DH decided to start spying on me and questioned every board that I was visiting- why were you here or why were you there- so I dropped ivillage from my daily enjoyment. Now I am paranoid he will ffigure out I am posting but right now who cares-


I wish you the best of luck and hope you get all the support you need- just stay strong...


lakegirl

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2008
Mon, 07-28-2008 - 1:13pm

I can tell you a little bit what to expect b/c I was on the other end where I should have known it was coming, that he wanted a divorce, but never really believed it would or could happen. I thought he loved me for life but what I didn't realize was he didn't love me how I thought he loved me. When he told me he wanted a divorce I went into shock, both literally and figuratively. My body literally shook for 5 days. But, I reached out to family and friends and they were there for me. The first month was really tough and I didn't eat very much and I would go to my STBX and ask him WHY? Why is he doing this to me? Why he came to this decision? etc.. He gave me answers and even then I didn't want to believe him. I thought we could work it out no matter what. But, to his credit he stayed strong and didn't give me any false hope. He had to act cold or detached from me from the beginning and of course I didn't think he cared or this didn't bother him, but I know it does. It's hard for both people. Then, by the middle of the second month I started to do of my own healing and coming to grips with what the relationship really was, not what I wanted it to be or thought it was. And it turned out that the more I looked at our relationship objectively the better I felt that this was a good choice for me too. I wasn't all that happy either in the marriage and he wasn't the greatest husband for me either, but I

Phoenix Firebird 08