Nobody Can Tell Me Anything

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Nobody Can Tell Me Anything
5
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 12:52am

The police wouldn't do anything b/c I waited until today to try and file a report (2 days later). The RO I had is not in effect. The court house told me they didn't know which county to file in. My lawyer doesn't know if the divorce is final since we have never received our decree. This is all crap. All I know is that I'm not letting my dd go back to him, and the way I see it is since I don't have any papers saying when she has to go, then why should I have to send her.

I'm going to the court house tomorrow and filing for a RO. But I'm scared and nervous b/c the judge knows my ex and his family. Last time I filed the judge looked at me and told me that I was lying b/c he new my ex would never do anything like what I stated he did. So on top of everything, I felt scared and humiliated already and then had this judge who is supposed to uphold the law not want to grant the RO.

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 2:14am
Where ever the trial was held, in that particular courthouse, there will be a file on any cases concerning you. Most courthouses have an information desk. You can ask there where you would go to locate any files pertaining to you. You can see if the final divorce decree is in that file. If it is not, you are not bound by that decree until it is. It may be that the judge has not gotten around to filing yet.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 10:44am

Kait-

I'm sorry everything isn't falling into place easily for you. Have you tried contacting a local domestic abuse shelter/hotline? They may be able to give you some referrals and advice of how to best proceed. Do you or your daughter (from where the door hit her head) have any bruises? Does your ex have any neighbours who witnessed the portion that happened in the yard? Too bad his dad wouldn't testify to what happened, but if he didn't have enough decency to intervene I doubt he'll be helpful or honest.

That was incredibly unprofessional of the judge to have made a comment like that. You would think a judge with years of experience would know that appearances can be deceiving and sometimes the worst people behind closed doors come from the 'best' families. I hope there's more than one judge and you don't get him again.

-sang

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 10:47am
Oh Kait.... I'm thinking about you!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 10:51am
I am sorry the police couldn't help. If there is another incident, RO or not, next time don't hesitate, call the police from your cell phone right after he touches you and as soon as you are a safe distance away. I hope they will grant you the RO.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 12:35pm
Kait, all I can say is call the police in surrounding towns and ask for a designated domestic abuse officer. If that doesn't work, call the state police if you're in the US and tell them the local law enforcement won't help and you're afraid of him. Go to womenslaw.org and look up legal aid in your area. Tell them it's an emergency, you've been physically abused this week, you aren't divorced yet to the best of your knowledge and your child is in danger from her father. Contact the nearby shelters and get into a safe house if need be. Legal aid may be able to tell you if there's a way to have the judge recused from your case. Calling an RO plaintiff a liar from the bench and passing judgment based on personal knowledge of the defendant is unethical. Even if he did give you the RO he still attempted to intimidate you from the bench in front of the accused, and that is not his job. Please don't give up when your safety is at stake. I'm so sorry you're going through so much just because you want to be safe. Keep us updated.