Is this normal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2007
Is this normal?
3
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 11:37am

I'm new to these boards, but I was hoping for some feeback.

My husband and I have been separated for 2 months now (married 12 years). We are going through with the divorce. I wanted it and I was the one that made the first move. There was no infidelity, abuse, etc... involved with our decision. It just came down to two different lifestyles that didn't mesh and we are on very amicable terms during this separation.

I don't regret my decision. I know it's the best for me and I do feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I don't want to try to reconcile either because we split up 5 years ago and reconciled and ended up in the same spot again. So I have come to the realisation that neither he nor I am capable of making the change to make this work. But herein lies my question.... he told me he met someone. Even though, I don't want him back or want to try to salvage the marriage, I'm stunned by how much him having met someone upsets me. Is this normal for me to feel this way even though I was the one that wanted out?

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2007
In reply to: lola_bug
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 4:14pm
I think these feelings are normal. It is probably more of a shock to the system because you are not used to seeing him with someone else. And it may also be that you had always assumed you'd be the first to meet someone new and it's always upsetting when expectations are turned upside down.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: lola_bug
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 8:29pm

HI there.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2007
In reply to: lola_bug
Sat, 04-21-2007 - 12:17pm
Thanks for the encouraging words. I guess this was never meant to be easy. It's easy to fall into the thinking that I was the one that wanted out and yet how easily he's moved on. But everything happens for a reason. I guess I keep referring to my favourite quote: "When one door closes another opens, it's just the hallways that are hell!"