Is this normal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2013
Is this normal?
3
Fri, 02-15-2013 - 10:46am

Obviously we are all here for different reasons and in different situations, but I feel like things are going way to smoothly.  So this week my STBX has counseling this weekend and it's his weekend with the kids. So I am watching the boys while he goes and then he will pick them up and go back to his place.  Next week, I travel all week for work and he will have them.  In a few weeks, on the weekend he has the boys, he is invited to a party so I told him I will take the boys that weekend. He invites me to parties he has at his place.  Yesterday, he brought me a Valentine's Day gift (a CD of an artist that I like and don't have) and I sent chocolate covered strawberries for the boys and him for their Valentine's dessert when he came to pick up the boys. 

What has been your experience with this type of stuff?  I feel like it's almost too amicable.

The follow up to this is that I contacted a mediator on Monday to discuss how mediation actually works. STBX wants to do a collobrative or mediatiated divorce. Has anyone done this/doing this? In my state, if you do not have all of the details worked out through mediation using attorneys or not, the divorce goes to litigation and the judge decides everything when you file after the 1 year and 1 day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 02-15-2013 - 10:54am

Sometimes things actually can go smoothly in a divorce if both parties make an effort.  My ex & I had a couple of arguments about getting divorced since I was mad that he decided to get divorced for no good reason (in my POV).  But as far as the actual splitting of assets and things about kids, we really didn't fight.  We didn't have a ton of money, just the house so we agreed that I would stay there and we'd divide up the money later. I told him what he should pay in child support & he just paid--no income assignment or anything like that.  As far as the kids, when they were younger and couldn't be left alone, we had a schedule but it was always pretty flexible as far as special events or if someone wanted to go on vacation.

I think if you are getting along well they you could benefit from trying mediation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 02-15-2013 - 11:01am

Based on your other post, I would be kind of watchful that your DH isn't being nice to try to lull you into false security or trying to get you to change your mind about the divorce.  But you never know either.  when I divorced 2nd DH (yes I have a lot of experience in this unfortunately) who was MI, I was prepared for a big fight but after getting over being upset that I wanted a divorce, he was actually very cooperative and he apologized numerous times about the problems that he cause me & my kids. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2014
Sun, 03-16-2014 - 12:17am

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