is this normal or is it too soon?

Avatar for seana_rae
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2006
is this normal or is it too soon?
4
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 8:28pm
I dont get it. I know hes not what I need and I know he plays mind games. Thats partly why I have convinced myself to file for a divorce in march. But why am I still hoping something will change before then? Is that normal to hope things will change before they are final or am I doing this too soon? I love him so much and I am 99% focused on starting a new life as a single mother of 5. Right now Im more head strong than Ive ever been. Why am I feeling like this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 11:25am

Its called denial, and everybody goes through it.

You are facing an unknown future, and that may tend to frighten people.

You're normal and its okay to feel this way.

Be strong and stout heart.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 2:03pm

Hi Seana,


Yes, it is "normal" to hold out hope that somehow you won't really get divorced. That's because we all hope the other person "gets it" whatever "gets it" means to you. My only question would be this: have you gone to marriage counseling together or separately at any time prior to now? Have you considered going? It may help you sort out your feelings, even solo. If you have tried this route and it didn't seem to work, then I can only say you're a human being and being hopeful is OK.


Take care of yourself and your children. You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders.


CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sat, 11-04-2006 - 5:30pm
You are completely normal. My divorce was finaled a little over a year ago and I am still wanting my ex to come home. I pray for it all the time. Right now is the time for you to learn how to take care of you. I know you are lonely and scared. Know you are not alone. Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2006
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 11:53am
I feel like this becuase I miss the familiarity. I miss the basic family unit. Even though I know I am not happy with him, and am a better person alone, I still wish things would magically be better. And Im the one thats filing!! Wouldnt it be easier that way...so much easier than the scary unknown. Good luck to you-Molly