Not angry,more like disgusted...........

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Not angry,more like disgusted...........
4
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 8:34am

Where to start....

I've been getting along pretty well with ex for a while now. This past weekend he had to move out of his house that was in the girls school district. The new house is in another dist. but still only 6 miles from the school.(he was forced out due to not paying bills)

So being that we have been getting along and the fact I wanted to make sure my girls had all their stuff,I offered to help him move. He was fine with this but his GF was not.She knew very well that he only had 3 days to move and she was working a double shift. So he still took my help and I at least filled my van twice and made sure the girls stuff was in the new place. GF called twice while I was there to make sure that he left hers and the babys stuff alone for her to deal with.(she hardly has anything there to begin with.He even complains to me about how she is)

So that was Sat. He has to be out by Midnight Sun. He is also supposed to have the girls Sun-Wed this week. Well that didn't happen. He asked me if I could keep the girls Sun. night so they could finish moving and not have to worry about setting up their beds for that night. That wasn't a problem. So I try getting hold of him all afternoon on Mon. Finally talk with him around 4:00 pm. He said he would pick the girls up and they could help with setting up their room. So I go in to take a shower only to come out to a message on my phone saying that he spoke to soon. The GF ment that the kids stay with me until they are all "moved in". He called back and I had asked him why was it not okay for me to help move in Gf's eyes and now because it's convienient for her it's okay for me to help by keeping the kids?

I don't have a problem with keeping them that is not the the point.It's the principle of the thing. He said he was going to put his foot down with her then paused and said soon. She is apparently jealous because ex and I are able to finally get along and she and her ex do not. I think she is trying on purpose to stir things up. Ex said if I could do this that it would keep the girls from seeing her blow up in front of them(which she has been doing alot of lately). Now I need to have him drop off clothes because I don't have enough here for a full week. At lest not school clothes. We have 50/50 custody.

I'm just really frustrated with the GF right now and the ex for not putting a stop to it.
BTW, my 11 yo said she thinks that her little brother likes me better than hi own mother.
Ex told her to never say that out loud again that the GF would hear. She would totally flip if she heard that. Thanks for listening to my vent.

K:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 8:39am

P.S. GF also got ticked off because my ex gave my dad his old car. Because it was my dad she thinks it was my idea for him to do that. My dad hauls in junk all the time and the car was of no value. Like ex said it was his car to do with what he wanted. Ex keeps telling me she doesn't have a problem with me but it's becoming clear that she does.

K:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 10:13am

Honestly, for me now I can understand why she would be upset. It's a feeling of the "possible threat" from the dreaded ex girlfriend lol. Way back many moons ago when me and my ex were getting along if he came to my house to see the baby or if his gf knew he was helping me with me with something for the baby she would literally call him several times while he was there. It was crazy, she even complained that while he was around me he didnt properly address her on the phone, she wanted him to say "hi baby" or something like that. Ick, it really ticked me off. But it was her own insecurity and childishness. Ofcourse he obliged her at times and that ticked me off even more.

I would bet that she has some jealousy there, that's usually the way it works. For so long I thought him and I would get back together and I realized through alot, ALOT of time that it wouldnt have worked b/c once he had kids with the ow I could have never got over that. Him having to go to her house to see the kids or him being around her period. The trust was broken and I would always question it in the back of my mind. He had even told me that but at that time I didnt see it.

Did he cheat on you with this girl? If so then that's what it's all about. Huge trust issues and she feels, since he did it with her to you, the reverse can happen.

Just try to stay focused on what's important which is that you two do have a good relationship. For now I would just let it slide but if she really interferes with your co-parenting then something needs to be done. Hang in there

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 1:12pm

No, there was no cheating going on. He met her a couple years after we seperated.Actually it was a month after our divorce that he hooked up with her. She has been with him for over a year and a half. She moved in last Feb. Was PG by the end of March and had the baby in Dec.

Honestly I'm no threat to her at all. I don't want him back now or ever. I'm pretty sure she knows this. My girls do and they like to share info. I've told him if she needs reassured that I would gladly talk to her. I do know he felt trapped by her. She never told him she went off the birth control. Most likely it's her own insecurities that have her jealous. Maybe because she can be deceptive then she feels someone else might do that to her. But she is sure going to catch them first.

I haven't had any problems with her until it was about a month or two before she had the baby. That's when they started fighting infront of the girls. I just talked to ex about getting more clothes for the week. He has to talk to the GF to see what clothes are clean. I told him I would wash what ever was needed. He thinks she has only done hers and the babys clothes. So now I sit and wait for an answer once again.

Thanks,
K:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 2:06pm
Okay. So it seems she really has some insecure issues she needs to deal with. Look you know you dont want him back and if your co-parenting style is working for the two of you she has to respect that and shouldnt interfere. Why is she arguing with him in front of the girls. Is it because of your relationship with him? Or their issues. Actually either way they need to make sure that stops. It's not good for the girls as you know. Keep us posted on how things go.