Not Divorced Yet but lurking
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| Sat, 12-23-2006 - 10:55pm |
Here I am home and it's almost Christmas. I have been Married for just over 5 years and we were together just over a year before we married.
My wife is in PA with her mom and I am here in FL. It's a very long story. the first 2-1/2 years were great and then something happened. I have not been able to figure out what has happened. We had a very loving, hugs, kisses affectionate relationship. We have childern 2 from her first marriage and I have 1 from my first so we are a blinded family.
My wife has gotten where she snaps at me, talks down to me treats me like I can not do anything right. This has been going on for the past few years. Her mom is in our marriage because my wife depends on her for everything. and her mom depends on her as well. We use to live around the coner from her mom and then almost 3 years ago she said she wanted to move away from PA. I found a job in FL and we moved. It took a lot to do it becuse of moving her kids away from their dad. BUt we did . Once she came down she did not have any friends so she got hooked on the internet. She belongs to several of the MSN and Yahoo groups and is a big My Space person as well. She spends betwen 4 and 6 hours a day on it but she does not see the issue. her grades have fallen in school the kids are neglected by her and our relationship is a constant fight.
Well the kids are at their dads for the holiday and the wife and I were suspose to go to her moms . I took her and the kids up last week and during the week we had an arguement on the phone and her mom and our oldest which is mine exchanged a few words because the daughter was lied to and she knew it.
now after several days of phone confertations I am here and she is there. She said she would not come back as long as my daughter is living here. I will not kick my daughter to the curb. There has been no decission yet but we have been on this roller coaster ride for almost 3 years now and it has gotten worse with the internet involvement. We have been to counsling but she refuses to go. I have done everthing I can. I need a sopport group or some friends to help me through this. My wife will not Commit to anything...

Hi there....
Well, the one thing that I didn't tolerate in a relationship was anyone telling me that my children were excluded.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Sorry to hear what your going through. I don't have any kids so it was much easier for me to leave my husband. It was even easier when I found out, by accident while doing something for him on line, that he was planning, along with his daughter who lives in Texas, to leave me with nothing! He set up a bank account, we are self employed so he was doing cash jobs and stashing the $. He also got another storage and moved all of our antiques over for him.
Well, after I saw that I started looking in his history online. I found out a bunch of things. Sites that he visited, when, for how long. Was able to get other emails because I didnt tell him that I knew for a week. My heart was cut out, but I had to find out more info. I had a problem with trusting when we got together. It took a long time for me to totally trust him with my heart and soul. I really did. To think that he could do that to me. Then to top it all off, he was having me do all the paper work to #@$%%$ me!
The internet is a double edged sword. Here we are venting to strangers, trying to make sense of our pain, while others are abusing it and addicted to it. Your wife sounds like she is addicted to the internet. Maybe seeing an addiction specialist would help her. And if not her, YOU. Check in with a local group. Addiction is addiction. The net is interfering with your life, her life and most importantly your KIDS. Can't let that happen.
You may be able to find out a BUNCH while she is gone and you have access to the history. There are a bunch of ways to find files and so on. You may think that you erased something, but it's still there if you know how to get to it. Yes, what you find may hurt and make you angry, but it will also inpower you and possibly give you prspective as to what to do next.
Good luck, and I will try to check in on Thursday. I have to go to file for Welfare in the morning and that will take all day. Yep, great fun. I'm out on work comp and only getting 640.00 a month. So wich me luck with getting general assistance. They may even be able to help me make him pay me something until I get released for work and retrained. I was a full time zookeeper. Ruptured two disks in my back, cant feel my left foot but they say I am stable and stionary, whatever that means. Oh well, it can be a lot worse.
Good luck again