Not jealous, perse - more irritated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2005
Not jealous, perse - more irritated.
4
Mon, 07-25-2011 - 8:45pm

I posted back in December about the roller coaster divorce I was on.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2010
Tue, 07-26-2011 - 9:25am

If it weren't for the fact that my x is an only child I'd swear we were married to identical twins!

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Tue, 07-26-2011 - 11:56am

Hi Ktom,

I am glad you are making progress and getting on with your life. Congratulations on achieving your education goals. It's lots of guts and endurance to make it through school and double so when you're dealing with the emotional crisis of divorce while doing it. Take a bow!

My advice to you is

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2011
Thu, 07-28-2011 - 5:35am

She is a new toy to him. He will get tired of her and she will be in the same boat that you guys are in... I just hope that she doesn't have children with the jerk.... Believe me I know this guy, I was married to one like him..... My daughter speaks to her dad about 10 times a year. She sees him about 4 times a year. He lives 5 hours away and she drives. She is 17 now and has no interest in going to his house. He missed out on his chance to get to know her. He pretty much has to bribe her to get her there now or take her on vacation. He moved from our home to his girlfriends so my daughter felt like he traded us in. This woman has a daughter so my daughter feels like he just changed families....That is really hard on children and these men just don't get it..... They are to selfish and self centered... It is all about them.... I am a believer in Carma, What goes around comes around.... You ex will regret his choices, just give it time....and until then I guess we will both just bite our tounges..lol

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 07-28-2011 - 5:30pm
Kt, as painful as it is for the kids, there really isn't any point in trying to figure it out.

If I were to play the devil's advocate here, he may be riddled with guilt and talking to his kids just makes the guilt worse, so it is easier to just to not talk to them. (not excusing his behavior, just trying to enlist empathy)

Hopefully you will grow and change and become a better person because of your D, right? Don't we enheriently look at the experience and try to make different choices for the future? Isn't it possible he is trying to do with the GF that he didn't do with you?

I promise I am not picking his side here, I just really try to focus on the fact we all are sick in our own way and not make one person better than the other.

Like Wisdom said, I also immediately thought of counseling for your kids. Not to justify their dads behavior, but to understand why he does what he does, and that he is not intentially sitting around thinking "How can I hurt my kids today."

Good luck with everything and it sounds like YOU are doing GREAT! Keep it up and hopefully your kids can get to a place of acceptance with their dad. Hang in there...
Serenity