Not sure what to think........

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Not sure what to think........
3
Fri, 04-29-2005 - 10:58pm

Ever since ex's girlfriend moved in he's been different. Mostly in a good way,but I'm afraid to let my gaurd down. We have been able to talk on the phone without yelling for the most part.

I'm not sure if he is just behaving because I'm doing better than him financially right now. He still owes me 168 dollars for girl scout cookies because he couldn't cover the amount he ordered. I just found out from him that his gas service was shut off April 12th. This means that the past couple weeks that the temps have dipped down ,he hasn't had heat when the girls are there.

He said he owes 1500 to gas and 200 to elec. I asked him if GF was pitching in with expenses now that she lives there and he told me she is "going"to.She is an RN full time. She is not divorced yet and has a house in another state to deal with.

I know I've taken advantage of him because he is willing to talk about GF with me and his problems. She hates if he talks about her or her animals to me. She actually got jealous because he talked to me about her cats. I told him that her pets and her as well are now a part of our childrens lives and if she or they come up in conversation then she will just have to get over it. It doesn't matter if it's good conversation she gets jealous.

I told him I would personally tell her he is all hers. But he didn't want me to do that. I think he likes to see what he can do behind her back,it just gives me more info to go on that he doesn't realize.

I'm just not sure if he is trying to manipulate me somehow as well. I love being able to get along for the sake of the kids. That is all I've wanted all along. I'm just always looking over my shoulder to see whats next.

Am I being paranoid? Or just cautious?I never know how long these "nice times" will last.

Thanks
K :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2005
Sat, 04-30-2005 - 2:51pm
I know the feeling. Be cautious, but certianly enjoy it while it lasts. STBX and I finally had a conversation that didn't involve the kids (in involved money) and he didn't end up calling me names and I didn't have to hang up on him. This has been ever since our provisional hearing when, oddly enough, things did not go "his way." I would say that he's left with plenty of money, though. He just did not get the things from the house that he wanted immediate possession of. Maybe he realizes the calmer he is the faster this will go, and I think he really wants this divorce to happen. I think he's wanted it for longer than he will admit. Do not let your guard down; my STBX has been all over the place with his actions and emotions and I do not trust him as far as I can throw him. Sometimes, though, it does help to treat people as we want to be treated. I wish I'd learned that before I ended up in this situation. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Sun, 05-01-2005 - 11:16am

I agree with Rose. Don't let your guard down. I have had A LOT of good conversations with X only to have them turn into anger yelling matches the next time we talk. It's a roller coaster and probably what tires me out the most in this whole thing. Keep your guard up.


About OW, well, she will always want to hide things from you, especially if they are in financial distress. OW in my situation brags about buying 4wheelers, going out to eat, buying houses, buying cars, buying brand name handbags ( fake although she says she spent 400.00 on it ) things like that, only to have X tell me his Electricity is about to be shut off and they have no money for food to have the kids over. It's silly, but let what she says slide right off your shoulders.... who cares if she doesnt want you to hear about her cats, he will tell you what he wants to. sheesh!


Hugs,


Angelena

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 3:23pm

Getting along for the kids.... even at a cost to you... it always a good idea, in my opinion.


If HE talks to YOU.... you are NOT taking advantage of him.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~