now what do I do
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| Sat, 05-20-2006 - 1:14am |
ok to make a long long story short. H is a alcholic became sober last july. tonight I found beer. HE admited to drinking since last sunday night. Marriage was very bad while he was drinking. when he quit i stayed because I thought things would get better. well money problems are getting better but emotional ones are not. Still fight alot and he still thinks i am a bitch and that i do nothing and i spend to much (oh yea buying groceries and stuff for kids and gas and sometimes makeup or clothes for me is TOO MUCH)his word were half the paycheck goes to walmart WELL BUDDY walmart is the only place to shop in this dump!!!!! so anyway Tonight I am 100% serious about thinking about filing. I just need to know what to do. I really dont think this marriage can be saved anymore. I really thought him being sober things would be better. I mean he was a jerk when he drank. well guess what he is still a big fat ugly jerk!!! and my kids have to see that jerk!!! sooo I was wondering what do I need to do to prepare myself for divorce support services, free lawyers I only make about 22k a year. Also Can I sue him for Emotional abuse. I mean My heart is broken in to little bits and I want to Suck him Dry!!! I am in debt because of him, My credit is screwed up because of him. My life is runied.
so what do I do now. Thanks.

I'm sorry you are going through this.
Susan
"Success is building a foundation wit
I totally understand that feeling. If you are 100% certain your marriage can not be saved, then it is time to move on to the next step. If you have a reasonable degree of doubt, I would definitely suggest putting it on hold (even for
I second the al anon. Addictions affect all members of the family and even if he stops drinking, the sickness is still there. You will need help understanding how to break the patterns with your children. I know some people are able to put marriages back together after addictions and I really admire them. It is a TOUGH road though.
I hope you come back and get the support you need.
Kimberly
your life is not ruined! but --- you do need to regain control over your life. i think that your first step - even before a lawyer - would be to get some help for yourself. have you ever gone to al-anon? I think that may be a place to start.
your husband may have stopped drinking, but it sounds like he is still an alcoholic - its not enuf to stop drinking, but he needs to go thru a lot of therapy and work so that he will be a positive adult.
good luck
I am divoricing an alcoholic, too. And yes they are still an alcoholic even after they quit drinking. It is not a drinking problem, it is a thinking problem. So, if he hasn't been "working a program" of some sort, then he is not a recovering alcoholic. And many times the people in that situation are harder to deal with than the drinking ones. At least their drunk behavior is almost explainable because they were drunk!!
I definitely recommend alanon. Being exposed to an alcoholic in such an important role as a spouse can really damage oneself. I helped out many times at our local Al-ateen (for kids) meetings a few times. The kids usually said it was the parent that didnt drink that was the crazy one!! It can cause so much anger, loneliness and fear in yourself. It slowly takes away small pieces of you, and you need to start putting those pieces back togther. It is possible and alanon is a miracle program that really can help. And it is basically free!!!
I did have enough $$ for a lawyer (barely), but I also have contacted my local Domestic Violence shelter for help also. They tell me that the emotional abuse is more prevalant than physical, so they help people in those situations also. (You didnt mention if there was any, but my guess is there is. With alcoholics tehre usually is. Anyone who trys to control you with their words, actions, or touch is abusing you.) They have free counseling for me and the kids. The program here in my county is better than any therapy office I've ever been in. But, more importantly to maybe help you, I saw that they offer free legal aid. I dont think that it is a lawyer given to you. But, they will advise you of things you can do. They will go to court with you and help you through the process. I'm sure they know of good lawyers to recommend or give advice on how to pay for one.
Good luck to you. Remember you have a life to live, too.
Big Hugs,
Jan