NUMB

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2007
NUMB
2
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 2:01pm

Well, it's been 5 days since I've had contact with my ex. I just feel really numb. I will be moving on Saturday to my own condo, I had moved back in with my mother after the separation, that was an adventure, not something I would recomend. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother very much, but she was on me from the first day I got there, to stop crying, and move on. I guess people can only deal with your depression for a short time. Well that's another problem, to deal with, my mother.

It will be really hard to un-pack everything, he packed it all up, and brought it down. Now I have to go through it all. I should be excited about moving, but I am dreading going through everything, that we shared in our home. I just really miss him, and that he went on with his life, without me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2006
In reply to: pink331
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 4:26pm
I feel the same as you. I still live in the same house with STBX and 2 kids. I go back and forth between moving with my parents and staying. I too love my mother but I don't think I could live with her again even temporarily. I hope to close by 2/15/07 on a condo. STBX is quickly packing my things which has really affected me. Yesterday, I was a total wreck. I feel like he is kicking me to curb. He has a girlfriend who is coming up here for superbowl weekend. I think he thought he would have the refinance done so he would tell me to get out of his house. That's a whole other story. But I can relate to the part of him moving on and I feel like I am living out of my car with no place to call "HOME". I just hope that when I move into my place with the kids, I will get out of this up and down feeling everyday. It has to get better than this!!
Brenda
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
In reply to: pink331
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:54am

Pink,

You've had a lot to deal with in a short amount of time. It sounds as though you are overwhelmed. I'm sorry that you're going through this.

I have to give you credit, I could not have moved back in w/mom at any cost!!lol I love that woman to death, but we would have driven eachother nuts!!

Moving, at any time, in one's life is stressful. Adding the whole issue of divorce on top of it, must seem daunting.

You're right. Each item that you unpack will have memories attached to them. A suggestion? Go through the things, as tough as it will be. Set aside those things that hurt too much to look at, pack them back up. There will come a time when you can look at them, sort through them. You'll know when you're there. Do you have someone you can have help you go through them? Other than your stbx? Sometimes, it takes an outside opinion to get through this. That helped me. My so, has helped me to go through each box, sometimes just one at at time, sometimes more, and his asking me about the things, even knowing that there are "issues" attached with each one, helped me to see clearly enough, whether I really wanted to keep the items or not. I've packed a lot back up, and even though the divorce is final-as of last week, the items are still there, in the boxes.

Don't rush yourself. Take the time that you need to feel again. Take time for you.

Just know that we're all here if you need us!!

Thinking of you,
Laurene