Oh the craziness! Should I respond?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Oh the craziness! Should I respond?
2
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 1:42pm

Hey all. I need some input (again).

Today was the agreed upon deadline for STBX to get his personal items out of the marital home so that I could get in there to get my things and start getting the house ready to put on the market. I have not been "allowed" into the house since December 9th.

When I asked if he had brought me a key (he had changed the locks) he said he had left it in the mailbox at the house. He asked if I was going there today, and I replied that I would be as the house really needs to be on the market ASAP. The market is super hot here right now.

As he left he said "If you ever change your mind, let me know" as in if I decide I want to get back together... I was dumbfounded. He treats me like something worse than doggy doo, he acts out in all sorts of bizarre ways and yet he still harbours this crazy hope that we'll get back together. I don't get it. I know he's somewhat dissociative, but this takes the cake.

I have the urge to send him an email that simply states that facts: I won't be coming back; he treats me like crap, and thus I would be beyond insane to go back; for the first time in many years I am happy and content, with the exception of having to put up with his behaviour when we are in meetings with the lawyers. Is responding for the sake of clarity and closure a good idea, or a bad one?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2006
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 2:29pm
If you want closure, sending an e-mail may not work. In my own experience, it became this never ending e-mail cycle until one day I no longer responded.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 2:50pm

I vote for ignoring him and not emailing him. Since it sounds like you two are still in negotiations on the divorce you just don't want anything derailing that or delaying it anymore.

Just keep your head high, ignore his obvious attempts at pushing your buttons and forge ahead. Hang in there you are almost done.

Smile,

Deirdre