Oh God!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Oh God!!
2
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 12:20am
I am trash. Me and my boyfriend of 14 years broke up a couple of weeks ago. I'll skip the drama. Anyhow I have tried to be mean and stay strong that it is over for us that it is the best thing for us, but my heart won't follow along. He has been somewhat nice to me we still have arguements over our typical stuff. Anyways he came over the other day to hang out with the kids while I was sleeping (I work nights). He ended up staying the night to watch the kids while I was at work the first time since we seperated that he stayed in the house. I reached out and touched his hand because I do miss him and I don't know why I did that. He responded by touching me, hugging me, and telling me he missed me and wanted to mess around. We didn't have sex. Anyway he mentioned about what are we going to do about our situation. I said we had to work on it and not rush to him moving back in for the kids sake. We seemed to be doing okay and he spent the day with the kids. Then today he again brought up what are we going to do about us. He told me that if I didn't change the way he wanted me to he was going to move on with a girl that he has started to see. He said he hasn't had sex with her yet but who knows. I know he has asked her out and they text each other all day. I want to work things out but I don't if he doesn't truely love me and he keeps seeing/talking to this girl. I feel like if we get into a fight he will turn around and sleep with her because she is there. My heart aches like you can't believe. I wish I could just die. I can't believe he has found someone so fast. It has only been 3 weeks. 14 years together, 3 kids and it takes him 3 weeks to move on. Now I feel like a loser I don't know what to do. At the moment I want to cry my eyes out and it is so miserable I wish I were dead. This hurts too much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2007
In reply to: rlf33
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 9:31am

It appears to me that he's just as confused as you are and he's reaching out to you. Do you think he'd consider couples counceling? I strongly recommend it in your case. Like you said, you have 14 years together and 3 kids... I think that it's worth a shot for the two of you to try and save what you have, or at the very least figure out what comes next.

Best Wishes

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2007
In reply to: rlf33
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 3:40pm
Are you tellin my story??? Wow!! 3 kids 15 years and after 2 weeks he comes to court with a woman? I know exactly how you feel. Completely devastated but believe me, it will pass. Take one day at a time, sweetie, and just pray and pray somemore. We are still in our unsure stage kinda back and forth and all I can do to keep from collapsing is go to work and care for the kids..... Men can be selfish,unfair pigs!! that's what I do know but, regardless to what.... tell yourself "I am beautiful and worth something without him."