Oh Karen...
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Oh Karen...
| Thu, 04-26-2007 - 7:33pm |
I got your little package today in the mail... and I am looking forward to my reading, especially with THE lunch being tomorrow.... (think of me and how many shades of red I may turn tomorrow afternoon)... and with Joey's comments today to LOL at, and with the stress I had at work today, well... I'm looking forward to the reading...
I did not see a couple of pages though and was hoping you could scan those and email them to me... pages 402 and 403 are missing... would you mind? :)
Thanks again for thinking of both Joey and I... I was surprised with the extra pages you included... had I told you when the other's birthday was?
*hugs*
Julie

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Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
First of all... chocolate feet... unless they're from a chocolate Easter bunny, I'm not interested... and I can see where it could be your x coming through Blake, so to speak... but is sweeter to think of innocent child protecting momma... which is what Joey tries to do... :)
an update...
Today was a rough day on a number of levels... the motivation within my group, I would say is at an all time low. I did what I had to do today and spent the rest of the time pondering circumstances and discussing with trusted work friends...
My old boss, D, asked to see me today... he was attempting to meet with each of us, one on one, this morning... my colleague, K refused, saying she had nothing to say to either him or our new boss, L... I sat in his office while he talked at me (because I really didn't have anything to say either) and then felt the tears coming, so I got out of there as soon as I could and made it to the bathroom before they started flowing. I'm one of those that once I feel the tears, I have to cry or else I just feel the pressure of the tears and could cry at any moment... it is easier to release them and then get it back together. so that's what I did...
L also wanted to meet with all of us individually today, and has met with at least one of us, but apparently D passed the word along to give K and I the weekend to get some more processing of this done before speaking to us... I'm grateful for this extra time and I do feel it will help give me a time to formulate things...
I left B a weird (word chosen just for Karen!) kinda disjointed message last night on my way home saying that I may need to talk to him about something today... I did it so I would actually talk with him and not decide that it wasn't necessary... although I did decide that, before he had listened to the message and told him not to worry about it... he hadn't heard the news at the time...
fast forward a couple hours later and he's listened to my voicemail... I was bringing him some stuff that I had just found that he coud use and he asks me if I'm all right... I tell him no, that I'm really not... and we talk for a few minutes before he gets pulled away... We finally get the chance to get away and talk about it behind closed doors and I'm glad we did...
Of course, he started our conversation by asking me if he needed to get tissues because I was planning on crying--I told him no, though in his defense, I have cried in front of him and I'm sure the Y chromosome in him loves that... yeah right... but my tears were over Joey and the scheduling issues that were occurring, so it was something that meant a lot to me and unfortunately was an easy thing for me to get emotional about...
He heard the news from D, and therefore heard his slant on things... he has a differing opinion than I do, but he did a great job of listening to my concerns and did not try to change my mind... he made some good points and agreed with some of what I said--stressing there were definitely areas of development for her... provided some insight, both from his point of view but also kinda from L's... from the brand new-no experience but thrust into management point of view... he gave me some ideas on where to go from here... encouraging me to take some time and really think it through, which I'm doing... he thinks it would be helpful to find a way to discuss my concerns with either L or D, the issue I'm having right now is I'm not sure if I trust either one of them... but I can see his point at the same time--if they're not aware of the issues, they can't even make a decision to change that behavior or not... and nothing will change if nothing is said...
My plan of attack at this time is to get through the week... today was impossible and it was made worse by the fact that I could not focus and was had zero motivation... and then get through the weekend... during this time, I am trying to get thoughts down on paper so that I can clarify things so that I can at least survive some time while I continue to work there and search for something else... I'm not saying that I'm definitely leaving... I do love my job, but at the same time, this does bring some new ripples into the mix.
I'm trying to ignore some things (as bloody hard as it is) and focus on the parts of that matter the most to me and figure out why those parts matter the most... from there, once I have those things that are the most important identified, I can try to figure out a way to bring them to their attention in a professional manner. I hate that I acted the way I did today--not really caring to hear what my old boss had to say... not being motivated... not wanting to do my job... wanting to "hide" in the other building... but truth be told, I did not act unprofessionally in any way... kept to myself a bit more than normal while at my desk, but I guess my silence was my defense mechanism today... I hate being this way, but I am only human and we all have bad days... normally I have such a strong work ethic and it just wasn't there today... at all...
I don't know if I've ever been so happy to make it to Friday... ever... Tomorrow should be interesting as I'm being videotaped doing some testing procedures for our dealer website--its not all of me, just my hands... so I treated myself to a manicure and pedicure today after work...
Julie
Wow, that's a lot going on!
I think that your reaction yesterday, and wanting to lay low and get away from it all was completely appropriate.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I just wanted to say thank you for your emails yesterday... they helped a lot... I think yesterday went well... you know, just a little more time for processing. I was very busy in the morning--doing a video shoot for our dealer website... my hands (the only thing being taped) are going to be stars--and then once that was over, I headed out for lunch and when I got back, I felt just good enough to start talking again.
One thing that I don't think I even realized (stupid me) was having an effect was also that my dad had a heart catheterization on Thursday... I got an email from him on Wednesday (just when we got out of the re-structuring meeting) saying that it was being done the next day... so there could have been some stress there that I wasn't even thinking was coming into play, but was, because I did feel much better yesterday afternoon....
Today is a play date with Joey's friend Cailin, a trip to the library and a Braves game tonight... hopefully it will be a good day!
Julie
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Yeah... it was weird, to use your word, because its my dad and you know that he and I have an odd relationship that is far from the best... but when I thought about it, it made sense...
I can't say that I'm thrilled about things, but I do think the stress from the procedure was at least contributing... I do know that my other two colleagues are still less than thrilled... one of them just decided to take the day off on Friday (hours are very flexible within our group and that is one thing I do not expect to change with the new lead) and the other one just decided to work half a day on Friday...
I do think that my talk with B on Thursday really helped. I trust him almost more than anyone there and hearing his perspective and thoughts on where to go with my concerns helped a great deal. Who knew?
Julie
Well... I'll just add to the thread here today...
Today went better than I had expected. I went back to work feeling good after a nice weekend off... I am back in my "normal" state of mind where my work ethic is there, so I was able to complete the study I was working on last week, which towards the end turned into data collection only and no number crunching at all... number crunching was completed today.
I still haven't met one on one with my new boss yet... I kinda expected it today, but being scarce today (because I was busy with experiments and labwork), may have delayed it... not that it needs to be delayed anymore... I do have a monthly meeting with old boss tomorrow too... Should I worry that a horoscope says this... (or is it dead on???) In the morning, your best efforts to express yourself are held up by bosses who listen only to what they want to hear. In the afternoon, learn to give a little here and there to make the honcho happy...
My two other colleagues who were also upset about the change have told the director (boss' boss) that they both want out of our department and hope that it will not take them leaving (company name) to make that happen... I'm not that upset anymore, instead wanting to take it day by day and see... don't get me wrong... resume is up to date... but I'm not nearly as ready to leave as I was last week.
Gwen asked if I was available for lunch again this Friday... I don't know if B will be there or not since his calendar is pretty booked all week... I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hear that B and I have a meeting this week at a local bar since the only time available on both of our calendars was 5:30 to 6:30pm...
I've decided that if Joey can be good, that I will take him out of school after a half a day and take him to the Braves on Thursday--he just loves the Padres now that Marcus Giles is playing for them... and wants to see them play so bad--this is their only trip east this season and I got great tickets (lowest level between home plate and the Padres dugout)... I'm hoping he has a better day than today--today was full of silent meals because he was talking or unable to keep hands to self or any other number of reasons I can't remember now...
How are you doing Karen???
Julie
I'd say that the horoscope is probably going to be the way it is.... given the situation.... but maybe not.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Well... before I get into my stuff... I'm so sorry to hear about Mr.Match's mom... I'll keep them both in my thoughts and prayers... you're right... that kind of thing is never easy and while you want to talk and make them feel better, in times like those, often there are no words that can truly be said, other than I'm here for ya... sending hugs your way too...
Work was the best part of my day... and I know how that sounds... pathetically sad, but true...
I did meet with my old boss today and you know, although I was getting more comfortable with him, I never got to that totally trust him stage... it takes a long time to get there for me and its not that I don't trust... I just don't completely trust right away or for a while, if that makes sense... you probably think I'm neurotic or something saying that... but I did have absolute trust in my old boss (before I moved to this group) and any new boss has a lot of room to fill the those shoes...
And new boss did mention meeting today, but then time just got away from us with what I had going on and what she had going on and my parent-teacher conference this afternoon... She told me some things today that are interesting... that they are trying to define my groups roles, so if there are things I definitely am interested in working on, to let her know... if there are things that do not seem so interesting, let her know too... which is all cool, but I'm still so new within the group that I don't have a great idea of all the options yet... I do know that I want to get experience over a lot of things... and that I am willing to try anything that needs to be handled... the more I try, the more I learn... the broader my experience becomes... I can say that I've enjoyed all of the work I've participated in thus far within my group and can't think of anything that is really driving me crazy... so that's good... just makes it harder to define... I also want to come up with some things that I know I need from her as a boss... so she comes in knowing some of my expectations... and I want to know what her expectations are of me at the same time...
And for information on why the rest of my day has been so much fun, you can check out this post from the Oct board I'm on... http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-psoct01&msg=31527.1&ctx=0
It was a big fun day here... and working Mommy guilt is hitting hard tonight... and I'm wondering if the ballgame should be a no go based on today's behavior... Your thoughts? :)
So, what you just said... is what you tell your new boss..."there are things I definitely am interested in working on...
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
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