Ok, comments on email just sent

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Ok, comments on email just sent
2
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 9:24pm

Ok, I just sent this to stbx. I wasn't going for harsh but truthful and to the point. What is your thought?

You know what? I don't even know where to begin. I will keep this brief and to the point as best I can. We are not reconciling. You made it very clear in your lengthy email that you do not have a problem. The only problem you see is that your wife is divorcing you. You can't see that this is an opportunity for a solution. A way to grow. I never issued you an ultimatium. If I told you at Senior Tequila that you have to go to counseling or I was filing for divorce, that would have been an ultimatium. I gave you an option, go to counseling or not. Your close relationship with your mother can be compromised on. Your obsessiveness around the house can be overlooked. BUT your controlling behavior of the children and distanceness with _____ and _____ will not be. That is a deal breaker. Your disrespect to me as your wife is a deal breaker. How dare you email me this morning that "It comforted me when ______ hugged me. I told him thank you. I just wanted you to know." How dare you shamelessly take his respect and love and not return it? How dare you be like a child needing his love but not a parent and recipricate it? Those two boys love you. You are their father, their dad. They want a relationship with you and you won't give them one. You just sit and blame me for filing for divorce. That is your justification for not interacting with them!? That didn't seem to stop you from seeing __________ and _______. Sending a comic book is not nurturing a relationship with those boys. You had an awesome opportunity to interact with all of us last night and you just sulked. You don't feel comfortable since being forced out. You can't eat. You know what, grow up! You are an adult, act like it. This divorce is hurting everyone! Not just you. Your concerns should be for ALL the children. Not your eating habits. Will you really let your fear of admitting you have a problem with control and working on it lead you to divorce? Only you can decide that. I will let you know though, I will not be manuipulated, guilted or coearced into stopping this divorce. I am not going to put the children through this. Why don't you get off your bended knee and outstretched arms and do something? Call _____ and _____? Have visitation with them? Let's work together and make this divorce as amicale as possible? We can be cival about this, compromise and work together. Then, we can work on our relationship. We can both be there for ALL the children and let them know we BOTH love them above all else.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 9:51pm
You go girl! That was awesome. I hope I am were you are at someday real soon!
Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 10:19pm

Very strong and to the point... I hope that this clarifies things for him a bit...

Good Luck!

*hugs*

Julie